Sunday, May 11, 2008

Positive parenting with positive perceptions

I came across a title on Helium which I just had to write something for. It was 'Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World' and this is my response:

There's not much point in trying to raise positive kids in a negative world. We need to see it as a positive world; a beautiful place, full of incredible possibilities. That's not to say we shouldn't teach them about the dangers (though we should keep them in perspective) or the struggle, but we should help them to understand that the struggle in life is a positive thing in itself.

Life is not perfect, if it was we would all be thoroughly miserable. But it is exciting and challenging. And full of wonder. We learn new things every day, but life is more of a playground than a classroom. I'm always inspired by this beautiful quote from Patricia, a character in Joe Versus the Volcano (John Patrick Shanley, 1990):

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep - everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant, total amazement".

There are ways to nurture this sense of amazement. We can teach our children to cherish the small things (there is always something to feel good about, even if we have to look a little harder sometimes.) We can point out the beauty in the world around us; Nature consistently provides us with amazing stuff. From a spectacular sunset to a bird feeding her young, there is always something to stop and wonder at, for a moment.

We can encourage our children to read positive things. Positive things might include some of the endless, awesome scientific facts the world provides. Uplifting or thought-provoking fiction, or true-life success stories can foster a positive outlook on life in general.

We can encourage them to spend time with positive people. A positive outlook on life is contageous; being around positive people is uplifting, just as spending time with negative people can make us feel drained.

We can introduce them to heroes.

We can ensure that they feel positive about themselves. If we give them the resources and the support to do the things they love, or the things they are good at, they will see both themselves and the world in a more positive light.

Encouraging children to keep a journal (perhaps a "Gratitude Journal"), helps them to recognize and cherish the positive things in their own worlds.

We can teach them to put a positive spin on things; to change mistakes into lessons, to face difficulties as challenges, or to see a 'negative' character trait as a positive one, or a weakness as a strength. Nurturing their sense of humour will help them too.

But perhaps the most important thing we can do to raise positive kids is to role model how to be happy and successful, how to thrive in a world that is both positive and negative.

I just don't do negative ...

Wishing you a positive week filled with beautiful moments!

:o)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"a state of constant, total amazement" - the model for maintaining this in ourselves would be our own children! Especially when they're smaller.

Moondreamer said...

Yes, an excellent point!

Thank you, (un)relaxeddad, it's true, spending time with little ones is always a great way to remember how amazing the world is!

:o)