The garden is one of my favourite places.
The positive aspects of gardening include therapeutic benefits (to body, mind and spirit), the learning of many lessons, the cultivation of a zen-like philosophy, the conception and growth of ideas.
I often come across my Muse in the garden. I've been busy out there every day for more than a week, making the most of the gorgeous weather (we need a little rain now, please!) I've got a post for the Freelance Writing Learning Curve wriggling in my head, about how the lessons learned in a garden translate to writing.
The garden is also a place where Youngest Daughter and I connect. It's not at all Eldest Daughter's thing, she hates creepy crawlies. And mud. Though she's very encouraging and supportive from the sidelines!
But Youngest Daughter and I love spending time together in the garden. We share a love of the outdoors and of creating things. When we're working in the garden we communicate on a different level; more relaxed, somehow. We learn a lot together in the garden, about ourselves and each other, about Nature, about life in general. Although I no longer homeschool, I still think of the garden as a classroom, full of exciting lessons.
For me, the garden is linked to education and creativity in lots of ways. I have inherited my love of gardening and also my perspective of the garden as a place of excitment and learning from my wonderful Mum and her wonderful Dad, both amazingly talented gardeners, highly creative people and great philosophers.
But it was while writing my BA dissertation about the Mother/Daughter relationship in the beautiful work of Alice Walker, that I was really bitten by the gardening bug. Walker often links creativity and gardening in her work. Although reading and writing were punishable crimes, black women kept that fragile, necessary spark of creativity alive in their songs and their stories. Or in the case of some (like Walker's mother), in the Revolutionary Petunias they grew.
Recent reminders of how wonderful gardening is, particularly how useful an educational resource it is, include the Children's Society Garden at this year's Chelsea Flower Show and Dave Riddell's wonderful Outdoor Classroom projects. What a fantastic idea, with wide-ranging benefits; individual schoolchildren, parents and family, the school and local community, and the environment can all benefit hugely from an outdoor classroom. Check out Dave's post and spread the word!
For more ideas on how to use your garden as a place of learning, have a look at The Learning Garden website.
Or check out the Homeschooling list of garden projects for ideas to try with your own kids.
Beverley Hernandez also has some cool ideas for homeschooling in the garden.
:o)
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Positive parenting with positive perceptions
I came across a title on Helium which I just had to write something for. It was 'Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World' and this is my response:
There's not much point in trying to raise positive kids in a negative world. We need to see it as a positive world; a beautiful place, full of incredible possibilities. That's not to say we shouldn't teach them about the dangers (though we should keep them in perspective) or the struggle, but we should help them to understand that the struggle in life is a positive thing in itself.
Life is not perfect, if it was we would all be thoroughly miserable. But it is exciting and challenging. And full of wonder. We learn new things every day, but life is more of a playground than a classroom. I'm always inspired by this beautiful quote from Patricia, a character in Joe Versus the Volcano (John Patrick Shanley, 1990):
"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep - everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant, total amazement".
There are ways to nurture this sense of amazement. We can teach our children to cherish the small things (there is always something to feel good about, even if we have to look a little harder sometimes.) We can point out the beauty in the world around us; Nature consistently provides us with amazing stuff. From a spectacular sunset to a bird feeding her young, there is always something to stop and wonder at, for a moment.
We can encourage our children to read positive things. Positive things might include some of the endless, awesome scientific facts the world provides. Uplifting or thought-provoking fiction, or true-life success stories can foster a positive outlook on life in general.
We can encourage them to spend time with positive people. A positive outlook on life is contageous; being around positive people is uplifting, just as spending time with negative people can make us feel drained.
We can introduce them to heroes.
We can ensure that they feel positive about themselves. If we give them the resources and the support to do the things they love, or the things they are good at, they will see both themselves and the world in a more positive light.
Encouraging children to keep a journal (perhaps a "Gratitude Journal"), helps them to recognize and cherish the positive things in their own worlds.
We can teach them to put a positive spin on things; to change mistakes into lessons, to face difficulties as challenges, or to see a 'negative' character trait as a positive one, or a weakness as a strength. Nurturing their sense of humour will help them too.
But perhaps the most important thing we can do to raise positive kids is to role model how to be happy and successful, how to thrive in a world that is both positive and negative.
I just don't do negative ...
Wishing you a positive week filled with beautiful moments!
:o)
There's not much point in trying to raise positive kids in a negative world. We need to see it as a positive world; a beautiful place, full of incredible possibilities. That's not to say we shouldn't teach them about the dangers (though we should keep them in perspective) or the struggle, but we should help them to understand that the struggle in life is a positive thing in itself.
Life is not perfect, if it was we would all be thoroughly miserable. But it is exciting and challenging. And full of wonder. We learn new things every day, but life is more of a playground than a classroom. I'm always inspired by this beautiful quote from Patricia, a character in Joe Versus the Volcano (John Patrick Shanley, 1990):
"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep - everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant, total amazement".
There are ways to nurture this sense of amazement. We can teach our children to cherish the small things (there is always something to feel good about, even if we have to look a little harder sometimes.) We can point out the beauty in the world around us; Nature consistently provides us with amazing stuff. From a spectacular sunset to a bird feeding her young, there is always something to stop and wonder at, for a moment.
We can encourage our children to read positive things. Positive things might include some of the endless, awesome scientific facts the world provides. Uplifting or thought-provoking fiction, or true-life success stories can foster a positive outlook on life in general.
We can encourage them to spend time with positive people. A positive outlook on life is contageous; being around positive people is uplifting, just as spending time with negative people can make us feel drained.
We can introduce them to heroes.
We can ensure that they feel positive about themselves. If we give them the resources and the support to do the things they love, or the things they are good at, they will see both themselves and the world in a more positive light.
Encouraging children to keep a journal (perhaps a "Gratitude Journal"), helps them to recognize and cherish the positive things in their own worlds.
We can teach them to put a positive spin on things; to change mistakes into lessons, to face difficulties as challenges, or to see a 'negative' character trait as a positive one, or a weakness as a strength. Nurturing their sense of humour will help them too.
But perhaps the most important thing we can do to raise positive kids is to role model how to be happy and successful, how to thrive in a world that is both positive and negative.
I just don't do negative ...
Wishing you a positive week filled with beautiful moments!
:o)
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Parenting Confidence: Nurturing Your Confidence as a Parent
When the word "parenting" is in the same sentence as a word like "confidence" (or perhaps "self-esteem") it is usually a sentence about building the confidence of a child. A parent's confidence is rarely mentioned, yet is paramount to that of a child; confidence in yourself, as a parent and as a person, will naturally rub off on your children.
But it's not easy to be consistently confident doing a job for which we have received no proper training and for which most of us have little ongoing support or guidance; a job in which mistakes can be very costly indeed.
A natural human inclination to compare ourselves to others is something which can damage even a relatively healthy confidence, so try and avoid it by reassuring yourself that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Parenthood is a sharp learning curve. We can all learn a thing or two from other parents, but remember that even those who seem to be flying when we are crumbling would no doubt tell you they've made mistakes along the way.
The media expectations of today are an immense social pressure; in the same way that women are under incredible pressure to look and behave in certain ways, parents are under pressure to be Supermums (or Superdads), usually at the same time as being Superfriends, Superlovers, Supercolleagues and Supereverything-else.
Don't set yourself up for a fall; make your goals as a parent achievable. I used to have a (regularly stated) goal that my daughters would attend university, which I have since realized was setting myself up for failure. Or at least feeling like a failure, when my eldest daughter was permanently excluded from school. Now I have a more general goal to work towards: I will consider myself a successful parent if I raise my girls to be well-balanced, healthy individuals who thrive in the world, with tolerance and compassion for others, and respect for themselves. So far so good. And because it's such a general, long-term goal, the wobbles along the way are OK too.
Use the 'small' things to nurture your own confidence. Recognize your success in always being able to put a meal on the table, in finding time for a story and a cuddle in a busy schedule, or in the fact that you have managed to send your children to school in freshly-washed and ironed uniform (even matching socks) every day for a whole week. Celebrate your triumphs, reward yourself.
Don't blame yourself for the mistakes you will inevitably make as a parent. Try to learn from them and make them lessons instead of mistakes, but be gentle with yourself. My confidence as a mum was seriously shaken a couple of years ago. Having raised two daughters while studying at university and working part-time, without too many problems, my eldest daughter hit fourteen and almost overnight went from a lovely, spirited but biddable girl to a raging, uncontrollable feral child. There were plenty of people who agreed I was a rotten Mum (which was extremely unhelpful!) but I was fortunate to meet a Parental Advisor who was wonderfully supportive and gave me some excellent advice, without ever making me feel that it was entirely my fault.
Never be afraid to ask for help when you're struggling. The PA made me realize I shouldn't accept all the blame for the situation (in the same way as I don't accept all the credit now my wonderful daughter has changed her life around.) She boosted my flagging confidence by reminding me of all the positive things I had done, was still doing. Keeping a balanced view is important to your confidence as a parent. There will always be successes as well as difficulties.
Try making a list of the things you do well and the things you struggle with: I am very disorganized and not always reliable (I have a rotten sense of time and am easily distracted from one job to another), I am not very consistent, and I often make impulsive decisions which later cause problems. But I am warm and affectionate, encouraging and supportive, I provide a stimulating environment, and I am always willing to go into battle for the girls (about things like health and education, not with their friends!)
Focus on the positive stuff (but work on the negative) to encourage your confidence. We all do somethings really well - give yourself a big pat on the back for them. Help your child discover their own strengths or develop their own interests, encourage them and support them in this and it will turbo-boost your confidence alongside their own.
Your confidence as a parent is part of a much wider sense of self-esteem. We are never just parents. When things are difficult from time to time as a parent, draw your confidence from another area of your life for a while. Aim to be a confident person, not simply a confident parent. The knocks you receive will then be more manageable.
Write down a few good reasons to feel confident as a parent and leave them where you will be able to read them and remind yourself often. I think my own greatest confidence as a parent (which has helped me through some rotten times), is that my girls feels secure and adored. It's important to me that they find me approachable and trust me enough to be able to come and tell me anything, because I think most problems can be solved by simply keeping lines of communication open.
When I doubt my abilities to parent successfully, I remind myself of this and feel so much better.
But it's not easy to be consistently confident doing a job for which we have received no proper training and for which most of us have little ongoing support or guidance; a job in which mistakes can be very costly indeed.
A natural human inclination to compare ourselves to others is something which can damage even a relatively healthy confidence, so try and avoid it by reassuring yourself that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Parenthood is a sharp learning curve. We can all learn a thing or two from other parents, but remember that even those who seem to be flying when we are crumbling would no doubt tell you they've made mistakes along the way.
The media expectations of today are an immense social pressure; in the same way that women are under incredible pressure to look and behave in certain ways, parents are under pressure to be Supermums (or Superdads), usually at the same time as being Superfriends, Superlovers, Supercolleagues and Supereverything-else.
Don't set yourself up for a fall; make your goals as a parent achievable. I used to have a (regularly stated) goal that my daughters would attend university, which I have since realized was setting myself up for failure. Or at least feeling like a failure, when my eldest daughter was permanently excluded from school. Now I have a more general goal to work towards: I will consider myself a successful parent if I raise my girls to be well-balanced, healthy individuals who thrive in the world, with tolerance and compassion for others, and respect for themselves. So far so good. And because it's such a general, long-term goal, the wobbles along the way are OK too.
Use the 'small' things to nurture your own confidence. Recognize your success in always being able to put a meal on the table, in finding time for a story and a cuddle in a busy schedule, or in the fact that you have managed to send your children to school in freshly-washed and ironed uniform (even matching socks) every day for a whole week. Celebrate your triumphs, reward yourself.
Don't blame yourself for the mistakes you will inevitably make as a parent. Try to learn from them and make them lessons instead of mistakes, but be gentle with yourself. My confidence as a mum was seriously shaken a couple of years ago. Having raised two daughters while studying at university and working part-time, without too many problems, my eldest daughter hit fourteen and almost overnight went from a lovely, spirited but biddable girl to a raging, uncontrollable feral child. There were plenty of people who agreed I was a rotten Mum (which was extremely unhelpful!) but I was fortunate to meet a Parental Advisor who was wonderfully supportive and gave me some excellent advice, without ever making me feel that it was entirely my fault.
Never be afraid to ask for help when you're struggling. The PA made me realize I shouldn't accept all the blame for the situation (in the same way as I don't accept all the credit now my wonderful daughter has changed her life around.) She boosted my flagging confidence by reminding me of all the positive things I had done, was still doing. Keeping a balanced view is important to your confidence as a parent. There will always be successes as well as difficulties.
Try making a list of the things you do well and the things you struggle with: I am very disorganized and not always reliable (I have a rotten sense of time and am easily distracted from one job to another), I am not very consistent, and I often make impulsive decisions which later cause problems. But I am warm and affectionate, encouraging and supportive, I provide a stimulating environment, and I am always willing to go into battle for the girls (about things like health and education, not with their friends!)
Focus on the positive stuff (but work on the negative) to encourage your confidence. We all do somethings really well - give yourself a big pat on the back for them. Help your child discover their own strengths or develop their own interests, encourage them and support them in this and it will turbo-boost your confidence alongside their own.
Your confidence as a parent is part of a much wider sense of self-esteem. We are never just parents. When things are difficult from time to time as a parent, draw your confidence from another area of your life for a while. Aim to be a confident person, not simply a confident parent. The knocks you receive will then be more manageable.
Write down a few good reasons to feel confident as a parent and leave them where you will be able to read them and remind yourself often. I think my own greatest confidence as a parent (which has helped me through some rotten times), is that my girls feels secure and adored. It's important to me that they find me approachable and trust me enough to be able to come and tell me anything, because I think most problems can be solved by simply keeping lines of communication open.
When I doubt my abilities to parent successfully, I remind myself of this and feel so much better.
Monday, April 21, 2008
How to Feed Your Family Well on Less
Just a few simple strategies will help you feed your family well on less, whether this means less food, less money or less time.
Feeding a family well is not just about preparing, cooking and serving food. It begins with deciding what to eat and collecting the ingredients. And the eating is as important as the cooking. Feeding a family is not just about food. The effects of the way in which we feed our families have physical, psychological, spiritual, ethical and moral implications.
Feeding a family is done best by a family. Involve even the youngest members of your family in all aspects. They will feel they are appreciated and valued, and they will be learning valuable life skills at the same time. The phrase, "A family who play together stay together," can be related to cooking and eating. Cooking a meal together can be great fun and eating together, especially in the evening, allows us all a chance to share our day, our thoughts, our ideas or our plans.
Planning
Make a written plan of your weekly menu and write a complete shopping list. Planning ahead avoids buying unnecessary things when shopping. (Plan to shop at a time when you're not hungry or stressed, to avoid impulse buying.)
Planning also saves time and makes feeding the family a less daunting thing to do, when you arrive home from work, frazzled and uninspired.
It allows the family to compromise on meal choices so everyone gets their favourite and so that younger members can cook simpler meals.
It means we get a good idea of how balanced our diet is.
Planning means we are less likely to buy more than we need, which avoids wasted food being thrown out.
Plan for healthy snacks too. Make flapjack or muesli bars. Keep a selection of fresh and dried fruit, and vegetables that are lovely to eat raw, like carrots and red peppers.
Feeding a family well is not just about preparing, cooking and serving food. It begins with deciding what to eat and collecting the ingredients. And the eating is as important as the cooking. Feeding a family is not just about food. The effects of the way in which we feed our families have physical, psychological, spiritual, ethical and moral implications.
Feeding a family is done best by a family. Involve even the youngest members of your family in all aspects. They will feel they are appreciated and valued, and they will be learning valuable life skills at the same time. The phrase, "A family who play together stay together," can be related to cooking and eating. Cooking a meal together can be great fun and eating together, especially in the evening, allows us all a chance to share our day, our thoughts, our ideas or our plans.
Planning
Make a written plan of your weekly menu and write a complete shopping list. Planning ahead avoids buying unnecessary things when shopping. (Plan to shop at a time when you're not hungry or stressed, to avoid impulse buying.)
Planning also saves time and makes feeding the family a less daunting thing to do, when you arrive home from work, frazzled and uninspired.
It allows the family to compromise on meal choices so everyone gets their favourite and so that younger members can cook simpler meals.
It means we get a good idea of how balanced our diet is.
Planning means we are less likely to buy more than we need, which avoids wasted food being thrown out.
Plan for healthy snacks too. Make flapjack or muesli bars. Keep a selection of fresh and dried fruit, and vegetables that are lovely to eat raw, like carrots and red peppers.
Shopping
Try to avoid "convenience" shopping. Convenience stores tend to be more expensive and convenience food tends to be less healthy. Planning your weekly menu and shopping list will help avoid the need for last minute convenience shopping.
Buy fresh, local, seasonal food. This will mean the food is healthier, cheaper and kinder to the planet, minimising food miles.
Shop around for bargains, or shop at local markets where you will be able to haggle prices. Make friends with your local butcher, fishmonger, perhaps even a local farmer. They will all have the best year-round choice of fresh food at excellent prices and will be glad to help you.
Storing
Store food to lengthen its life. Fruit and vegetables should be stored in a cool, dark place, with ventilation, preferably individually. Fruit and veg can be stored for almost an entire winter in this way. Use any fruit and veg past its best to make juices, puddings or sauces.
Store bread in a cool, dark, dry place too. Use up older bread for toast, croutons or bread and butter pudding.
Dairy products and meat should be stored in a fridge at the correct temperature. (Don't store fresh meat or frozen meat with cooked meat.) Ensuring the fridge or freezer has an intact seal will not only ensure your food is kept at the optimum temperature but will use less electricity and so save you money on fuel bills while helping the environment too.
Keep your store-cupboard essentials topped up. There are some basic ingredients from which you will always be able to cook a meal from scratch. Check your cupboards when you make your weekly menu plan and shopping list. If you keep a good supply of these ingredients, you will survive a week with less money than usual, if you have extra bills to pay, for example, or a school uniform to buy.
Preparing and Cooking
Planning your menu allows you to provide quick and easy meals when you will be pushed for time or energy, or to plan more time preparing meals together as a family when possible. This not only encourages conversation but develops necessary skills.
Healthy food is food that is prepared taking health and hygiene aspects into consideration; keeping hands and surfaces clean, and ensuring food is cooked properly, for example.
The way you cook can affect your fuel consumption; convection ovens are the most fuel-efficient. Try to avoid opening the oven door while you're cooking and use lids for pans on the hob.
Cook extra and freeze; cooking two of something in the oven, perhaps a lasagne, uses the same amount of fuel as cooking only one. Making double the amount of stew or soup on the hob means you will only have to defrost and heat it through thoroughly another day, rather than start from scratch (saving you time as well.)
Make use of seasonal gluts by making preserves.
Don't overcook food. This destroys vital nutrients. Eating raw food whenever possible (salads, fruit salads, vegetable dips) will save money and provide a boost of essential vitamins and minerals.
Encourage your family to eat regular meals, rather than grazing all day, or going all day with nothing to eat and bingeing in the evening.
Make pack-ups for lunch. Encourage the kids to make their own.
Eating
Starting every morning with a healthy breakfast is important to both the physical and intellectual work we will be doing throughout the day.
Eating at the table as a family is important when trying to feed a family well on less. It makes an occasion of eating, making a meal last longer. This helps us digest our food better, meaning we get the best out of it. It also means we appreciate the food more. It means you are always aware of what they are eating and can be sure they are getting a balanced diet.
But perhaps most importantly, it means you get the chance to spend some quality time together as a family which feeds the soul.
Growing Your Own Food
This is food for a whole post on its own! I'll try and do a post soon about gardening as a family. Kids love getting mucky in the garden and even adults get excited by growing things. Growing food to eat is easy, costs very little and keeps you healthy in so many ways.
Bon Appétit!
A well-fed family is not just fed the right things, but is fed the right way. It doesn't take much food, or money, or time and effort to feed a family well. It just takes a little thought and planning, a lot of teamwork and love. Feeding a family well means feeding more than their tummies, it is about the way we feed them as well as what we feed them.
:o)
Friday, April 11, 2008
Easy Ways Your Family Can "Go Green"
There are lots of easy ways your family can go green. Going green is not about huge sacrifices or expensive products and technology. It's about conservation (of energy, natural resources, water, paper, the environment, the flora and fauna we share it with) and small changes will often make a big difference, benefiting your family as well as the planet.
Regardless of all the controversy and debate about global warming, it makes sense to treat our home (the planet we live on, the only inhabitable planet in the Universe as far as we know) with respect and consideration.
It's a good idea to calculate your carbon footprint (the measure of your impact on the environment) to understand your current impact on the environment.
Then you can try implementing some of the following simple tips.
Don't overwhelm yourself, just choose one or two of your favourites and start there.
1. Turn Down the Volume
Making small changes will reduce your CO2 emissions as well as your household bills.
Standby: Appliances on standby account for 6-10% of household energy use. Turn off and unplug appliances when not in use.
Kettles: Only boil the amount of water you need.
Batteries: Use rechargeable batteries. While they use electrical power, they prevent the necessity for disposing of toxic material, which may leak into the ground and have a detrimental effects on wildlife and ecosystems.
Washing Machines: Turn down the temperature and always put a full load of washing in.
Dishwashers: Wash pots by hand wherever possible. Lots of pots means lots of people have been using them. Lots of people = lots of dishwashers!
Energy Providers: Switch to an energy provider that uses renewable energy sources.
Thermostats: Turning the thermostat down just 1 degree can save 10% of your heating bills and reduce your carbon emissions by over 5%.
Light Bulbs: Use energy efficient light bulbs.
Insulation: Half of the heat lost in a home escapes through the windows and walls. Invest in cavity wall insulation, double glazing and loft insulation. (It's worth investigating whether you are entitled to various grants available to help people with insulation.)
Power Gadgets: There are a number of gadgets on the market that will show you how much energy you are using. Some will even display your carbon emissions.
2. Eat Well
You can help your family go green and also improve their health in the ways you purchase, prepare and cook food.
Buying Local Produce: Buy fresh, local, organic food in season. Buying local produce minimizes CO2 emissions from food miles, means the food will be fresher and probably cheaper, plus it supports the local economy.
Buying Organic: Organic food means you will be eating food free from chemical pesticides.
Honey: Choosing local honey not only supports local bee colonies (many of which have been struggling recently) and beekeepers, but is the healthiest option too. Eating local honey reduces hayfever, for example.
Fish: Be aware of where your fish has been caught and under what circumstances.
Preparing Food: Only prepare and cook the amount of food you need to avoid waste. Recycle leftovers into another meal rather than throw them out. Leave the skins on vegetables rather than throwing them away, or recycle them by putting them on a compost heap, or feeding a pet rabbit.
Cooking: Convection ovens use less energy. Try not to open the oven door when you are cooking something. Save energy by cooking twice the amount you need and freezing. This will save you time as well as money on fuel bills, as you will only have to (thoroughly) re-heat the food rather than cooking a meal from scratch. Use lids on your pans and turn down the heat or use a smaller ring to fit the size of pans on the hob.
3. Travel Lightly
Thinking carefully about the ways in which you travel and whether you can adapt them, will help your family go green by cutting down CO2 emissions.
Local Travel: Walk, use public transport or car-share.
National Travel: Use public transport or car-share for unavoidable journeys. Only travel when it's necessary. Perhaps a business meeting could be conducted by video conference. Perhaps information or materials could be sent technologically or by post rather than delivered in person.
International or Interstate Travel: Holiday at home rather than abroad. We spend so much time escaping to far-flung places when there are treasures on the doorstep. When you do travel abroad, travel by sea, an adventure in itself. Use the train or bus rather than the driving/flying when traveling overland
4. Make a Splash
Water consumption is as important as energy consumption when going green.
Bath/Shower: Taking a shower rather than a bath generally uses less water (and energy) but be aware that using a power shower for five minutes can use as much water as a bath, and that old shower heads will use more water. The average bath uses 30-50 gallons of water, the average shower (4 minutes with an old shower head) uses about 20 gallons, and a low flow shower head uses about 10 gallons.
Water-Saving Appliances: Low flow showers will use less water but are designed not to have a negative effect on performance. The cistern of a toilet can flush effectively with half the water. Take up some space in your cistern by filling a large bottle with water and placing it inside the cistern.
Washing Machines: Always wash a full load and use an economy programme wherever possible.
Taps: A leaking tap can lose up to 15 litres of water a day. Fixing leaky taps will save water and might even save you money: feng shui belief is that water is the element of money and that leaking taps mean financial energy is also lost.
5. Re-use, Repair or Recycle
Most things can be either repaired, re-used by someone else or recycled into another product, saving the energy needed to make new products.
Household Refuse: Most household refuse can be recycled. Glass, paper, plastic and metal can all be recycled through local schemes. Much of what is left can be recycled by putting it on a compost heap.
Clothes: Take clothes to a charity or second hand shop, sell at car boot or garage sales or pass on to friends and family.
White Goods: Various organizations including charities and local community schemes will recycle white goods. When you buy a new item, ask the supplier if they have a recycling scheme for your old items. Fixing a fridge seal will prevent the necessity of disposal.
Electrical Equipment: Upgrade electrical equipment like computers, if possible. Local community exchange schemes or charities, including ActionAid and Oxfam will recycle or redistribute things like mobile phones, hoovers, computers, stereo and television equipment.
6. Plant a Tree
Trees are essential to human life, the great forests are the lungs of our planet. They are also essential to local biodiversity, providing excellent habitats for a great variety of species.
Choose Carefully: Always plant a native species of tree as it will be more likely to thrive and will support the local biodiversity. Sourcing seeds or saplings locally will cut down any CO2 emissions involved in transportation as well as supporting local economy.
Woodland: Get involved in maintaining a local woodland.
Local Conservation: Explore other local conservation projects.
7. Make Friends with Nature
Working with natural rhythms and powers is essential to being green in the garden.
Food: Growing your own food means it will be organic and incredibly fresh, plus it will save you money.
Water: Use a water butt to collect rainwater and use this to water your garden, or recycle household water from baths and washing pots. Consider drought tolerance when choosing plants.
Wildlife: Encourage wildlife into your garden by building a pond or placing bird boxes and a bird bath in your garden, or build a hedgehog home from a pile of old logs. Keep a messy spot in your garden, perhaps a patch of unruly nettles.
Organic Pest Control: Wildlife will help with pest control, but you can also use organic products.
Ask for advice at your local nursery or garden centre.
8. Go Paperless
The world is increasingly becoming paperless with the development of new technology.
Paper v. Power: Consider the balance of using less paper but increased energy.
Communication: There are many ways to communicate today without paper - emails, texts, instant messenger services, video phone calls, etc.
Bills: Pay as many bills as possible online.
Books: Read ebooks, use the library or buy second hand.
Junk Mail: Sign up to a Mailing Preference Service to opt out of junk mail. If you do get junk mail, recycle it through a local scheme or at home, by using envelopes to make notes, or by making your own beautiful hand-made paper (there are plenty of books about this or online recipes.)
9. Use Your Consumer Choice Wisely
As a consumer, you have a great deal of power and can use it to benefit the environment and local economy.
Bulk Buying: But store-cupboard essentials like rice and flour in bulk.
Packaging: Almost 20% of household rubbish is packaging. Avoid this by choosing concentrated or unwrapped products. Take your own bag when shopping to avoid using plastic carrier bags.
Energy Efficiency: When buying a new electrical item, ensure it is energy-efficient.
Local, Sustainable Sources: Choose green companies that use local, sustainable materials. This will limit CO2 emissions from transporting goods and will support the local economy.
Recycled Products: Buy recycled products whenever possible, toilet paper for example.
Clothing: Choose clothing from ethical companies, using natural materials and environmentally sound processes. Consider also how far clothes have traveled between the place they are made and the place they are sold.
10. Detox Your Life
We use many products and materials that are harmful to us and to the environment. Helping your family go green means disposing of these safely and replacing them with more natural products.
Disposal: VOCs in paint and preservatives are harmful to people and to the environment. Never dispose of them down the drain or in the bin. Contact your local council for safe disposal. Likewise, take medicines to your local pharmacy to be disposed of carefully.
Natural Cleaning Products: Use natural cleaning products either purchased from an ethical company or make your own. White vinegar, bicarbonate of soda, lemons and olive oil will clean most surfaces in your home.
Natural Materials: Use natural materials like wood, cotton and wool in your home.
Useful Websites:
Smart Planet
The Consumer Energy Center
Energy Watch
Top Tips to save energy and money from Friends of the Earth
One small, simple step to helping your family go green, a step you can take right now, is to sign up to the Nag, an environmental site that will send you one small thing to try every month in your effort to go green.
:o)
Regardless of all the controversy and debate about global warming, it makes sense to treat our home (the planet we live on, the only inhabitable planet in the Universe as far as we know) with respect and consideration.
It's a good idea to calculate your carbon footprint (the measure of your impact on the environment) to understand your current impact on the environment.
Then you can try implementing some of the following simple tips.
Don't overwhelm yourself, just choose one or two of your favourites and start there.
1. Turn Down the Volume
Making small changes will reduce your CO2 emissions as well as your household bills.
Standby: Appliances on standby account for 6-10% of household energy use. Turn off and unplug appliances when not in use.
Kettles: Only boil the amount of water you need.
Batteries: Use rechargeable batteries. While they use electrical power, they prevent the necessity for disposing of toxic material, which may leak into the ground and have a detrimental effects on wildlife and ecosystems.
Washing Machines: Turn down the temperature and always put a full load of washing in.
Dishwashers: Wash pots by hand wherever possible. Lots of pots means lots of people have been using them. Lots of people = lots of dishwashers!
Energy Providers: Switch to an energy provider that uses renewable energy sources.
Thermostats: Turning the thermostat down just 1 degree can save 10% of your heating bills and reduce your carbon emissions by over 5%.
Light Bulbs: Use energy efficient light bulbs.
Insulation: Half of the heat lost in a home escapes through the windows and walls. Invest in cavity wall insulation, double glazing and loft insulation. (It's worth investigating whether you are entitled to various grants available to help people with insulation.)
Power Gadgets: There are a number of gadgets on the market that will show you how much energy you are using. Some will even display your carbon emissions.
2. Eat Well
You can help your family go green and also improve their health in the ways you purchase, prepare and cook food.
Buying Local Produce: Buy fresh, local, organic food in season. Buying local produce minimizes CO2 emissions from food miles, means the food will be fresher and probably cheaper, plus it supports the local economy.
Buying Organic: Organic food means you will be eating food free from chemical pesticides.
Honey: Choosing local honey not only supports local bee colonies (many of which have been struggling recently) and beekeepers, but is the healthiest option too. Eating local honey reduces hayfever, for example.
Fish: Be aware of where your fish has been caught and under what circumstances.
Preparing Food: Only prepare and cook the amount of food you need to avoid waste. Recycle leftovers into another meal rather than throw them out. Leave the skins on vegetables rather than throwing them away, or recycle them by putting them on a compost heap, or feeding a pet rabbit.
Cooking: Convection ovens use less energy. Try not to open the oven door when you are cooking something. Save energy by cooking twice the amount you need and freezing. This will save you time as well as money on fuel bills, as you will only have to (thoroughly) re-heat the food rather than cooking a meal from scratch. Use lids on your pans and turn down the heat or use a smaller ring to fit the size of pans on the hob.
3. Travel Lightly
Thinking carefully about the ways in which you travel and whether you can adapt them, will help your family go green by cutting down CO2 emissions.
Local Travel: Walk, use public transport or car-share.
National Travel: Use public transport or car-share for unavoidable journeys. Only travel when it's necessary. Perhaps a business meeting could be conducted by video conference. Perhaps information or materials could be sent technologically or by post rather than delivered in person.
International or Interstate Travel: Holiday at home rather than abroad. We spend so much time escaping to far-flung places when there are treasures on the doorstep. When you do travel abroad, travel by sea, an adventure in itself. Use the train or bus rather than the driving/flying when traveling overland
4. Make a Splash
Water consumption is as important as energy consumption when going green.
Bath/Shower: Taking a shower rather than a bath generally uses less water (and energy) but be aware that using a power shower for five minutes can use as much water as a bath, and that old shower heads will use more water. The average bath uses 30-50 gallons of water, the average shower (4 minutes with an old shower head) uses about 20 gallons, and a low flow shower head uses about 10 gallons.
Water-Saving Appliances: Low flow showers will use less water but are designed not to have a negative effect on performance. The cistern of a toilet can flush effectively with half the water. Take up some space in your cistern by filling a large bottle with water and placing it inside the cistern.
Washing Machines: Always wash a full load and use an economy programme wherever possible.
Taps: A leaking tap can lose up to 15 litres of water a day. Fixing leaky taps will save water and might even save you money: feng shui belief is that water is the element of money and that leaking taps mean financial energy is also lost.
5. Re-use, Repair or Recycle
Most things can be either repaired, re-used by someone else or recycled into another product, saving the energy needed to make new products.
Household Refuse: Most household refuse can be recycled. Glass, paper, plastic and metal can all be recycled through local schemes. Much of what is left can be recycled by putting it on a compost heap.
Clothes: Take clothes to a charity or second hand shop, sell at car boot or garage sales or pass on to friends and family.
White Goods: Various organizations including charities and local community schemes will recycle white goods. When you buy a new item, ask the supplier if they have a recycling scheme for your old items. Fixing a fridge seal will prevent the necessity of disposal.
Electrical Equipment: Upgrade electrical equipment like computers, if possible. Local community exchange schemes or charities, including ActionAid and Oxfam will recycle or redistribute things like mobile phones, hoovers, computers, stereo and television equipment.
6. Plant a Tree
Trees are essential to human life, the great forests are the lungs of our planet. They are also essential to local biodiversity, providing excellent habitats for a great variety of species.
Choose Carefully: Always plant a native species of tree as it will be more likely to thrive and will support the local biodiversity. Sourcing seeds or saplings locally will cut down any CO2 emissions involved in transportation as well as supporting local economy.
Woodland: Get involved in maintaining a local woodland.
Local Conservation: Explore other local conservation projects.
7. Make Friends with Nature
Working with natural rhythms and powers is essential to being green in the garden.
Food: Growing your own food means it will be organic and incredibly fresh, plus it will save you money.
Water: Use a water butt to collect rainwater and use this to water your garden, or recycle household water from baths and washing pots. Consider drought tolerance when choosing plants.
Wildlife: Encourage wildlife into your garden by building a pond or placing bird boxes and a bird bath in your garden, or build a hedgehog home from a pile of old logs. Keep a messy spot in your garden, perhaps a patch of unruly nettles.
Organic Pest Control: Wildlife will help with pest control, but you can also use organic products.
Ask for advice at your local nursery or garden centre.
8. Go Paperless
The world is increasingly becoming paperless with the development of new technology.
Paper v. Power: Consider the balance of using less paper but increased energy.
Communication: There are many ways to communicate today without paper - emails, texts, instant messenger services, video phone calls, etc.
Bills: Pay as many bills as possible online.
Books: Read ebooks, use the library or buy second hand.
Junk Mail: Sign up to a Mailing Preference Service to opt out of junk mail. If you do get junk mail, recycle it through a local scheme or at home, by using envelopes to make notes, or by making your own beautiful hand-made paper (there are plenty of books about this or online recipes.)
9. Use Your Consumer Choice Wisely
As a consumer, you have a great deal of power and can use it to benefit the environment and local economy.
Bulk Buying: But store-cupboard essentials like rice and flour in bulk.
Packaging: Almost 20% of household rubbish is packaging. Avoid this by choosing concentrated or unwrapped products. Take your own bag when shopping to avoid using plastic carrier bags.
Energy Efficiency: When buying a new electrical item, ensure it is energy-efficient.
Local, Sustainable Sources: Choose green companies that use local, sustainable materials. This will limit CO2 emissions from transporting goods and will support the local economy.
Recycled Products: Buy recycled products whenever possible, toilet paper for example.
Clothing: Choose clothing from ethical companies, using natural materials and environmentally sound processes. Consider also how far clothes have traveled between the place they are made and the place they are sold.
10. Detox Your Life
We use many products and materials that are harmful to us and to the environment. Helping your family go green means disposing of these safely and replacing them with more natural products.
Disposal: VOCs in paint and preservatives are harmful to people and to the environment. Never dispose of them down the drain or in the bin. Contact your local council for safe disposal. Likewise, take medicines to your local pharmacy to be disposed of carefully.
Natural Cleaning Products: Use natural cleaning products either purchased from an ethical company or make your own. White vinegar, bicarbonate of soda, lemons and olive oil will clean most surfaces in your home.
Natural Materials: Use natural materials like wood, cotton and wool in your home.
Useful Websites:
Smart Planet
The Consumer Energy Center
Energy Watch
Top Tips to save energy and money from Friends of the Earth
One small, simple step to helping your family go green, a step you can take right now, is to sign up to the Nag, an environmental site that will send you one small thing to try every month in your effort to go green.
:o)
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Celebrating Spring: Making a Nature Journal, Freelance Writing and New Women's Blog
Busy Bee: Freelance Writing
I've just realised I've only posted once on here in almost 6 weeks!
Been a very busy bee elsewhere, though. I've written a lot, including a number of articles for Helium. Am working on my first article to submit for publishing in a local newpaper and have started a new blog to chart the journey into freelance writing.
International Women's Day: Towards 2011
I write for five blogs, now. Although the fifth blog isn't mine ... it's ours! Towards 2011, started with aliqot, in response to the lack of information we could find about International Women's Day, which was started in 1911.
We hope Towards 2011 will become a collection (perhaps a 'conversation') of widely-varying perpectives from all kinds of women, at the same time as promoting IWD and looking forward to centenary celebrations.
It's feminist blog (I'm not scared to call myself a feminist!) It's a blog by women, about women and for women, but men are very welcome too. As human beings, individually and as a society, we can all benefit from feminism.
Student Mum: Blogging Goals
Anyway, more about this blog, my poor neglected Student Mum! I've spent some time spring cleaning and organising (the house, my workspace, my writing routine, my mind, my life ...) recently. I've learned that setting specific goals and writing them on my blog helps me to attain them. So, my goal for Student Mum is to post once a week (on Saturdays to be even more specific.)
I'm still going to post on Write Here! Mondays will be 'Moondays'; Wednesdays will be about Creativity and Productivity; Fridays will be Feelgoods and Wellbeing. The Freelance Writing Learning Curve/Life is a Learning Curve will have one post a day, Mondays to Fridays. And I'll write at least once a week on Towards 2011.
Plus working on articles and an ebook (craft-based, for the wonderful Dabbling Mum) so sometimes, I will have to cheat. Like here, another article from Helium!
Celebrating Spring
I've been thinking of ways to celebrate Spring (am feeling full of Spring Fever!) and I think starting a Nature Journal would be perfect, there's so much going on at this time of year and it's a lovely thing to do on your own or as a family.
What is a nature journal?
A nature journal is like any other journal, but is grounded in observations of nature. Making a nature journal is a very personal thing; each journal will be (should be) unique. Some may take the form of brief field notes, others will lean towards the literary, or be a combination of the two. Some will be mostly words, others mostly pictures.
Why keep a nature journal?
Spending time in nature reconnects us to natural rhythms as well as to our inner selves. Keeping a nature journal develops skills (making observations, for example) and involves all five senses. It encourages us to live in the moment. It helps to alleviate stress and supports the creative flow. Keeping records of the nature around us has other benefits too, providing information to refer back to (very useful when a nature journal is about a garden for example, to see what worked and what didn't in a previous year), but also providing a record for future generations.
How to make a nature journal?
Choose a hard-backed book with quality paper because it will prove more hard-wearing, but it's a good idea to keep it in a plastic wallet to protect it from the elements. Blank pages are better than lined, as you will likely make sketches too. Choose a size small enough to put in your pocket.
Or try keeping a nature journal online in the form of a blog. You will still need a small notebook or sketchbook when you are out though, to record things you want to write about later, but the quality won't matter so much.
Write through your senses. Record sights, sounds, smells, textures and tastes. But also include moods and feelings invoked by the nature you experience.
Try visiting the same spot once a week to build up a picture of seasonal changes, or visit the same spot at different times of day to observe smaller changes.
A dictaphone (or other sound recorder) and a camera are very useful tools when you're making a nature journal. A flexible ruler or tape measure will also come in handy. For an interesting approach, use a square wooden frame to put over an area of ground and record the life you discover within it. Try moving the square to another area, or repeating it at another time of day (or year.)
What to put in a nature journal?
For each entry, note the date, time, location, weather, plant-life, birds/animals/insects (behaviour, movements, food, sounds), minerals, geological aspects, sky (clouds, stars, moon, sun). You could also note the tides, dawn/sunset times and things like the equinox.
When you are making a nature journal, use the questions, "What, when, where and how?"
Indulge your senses. Ask yourself, "What can I hear, see, smell, feel, taste?"
Observe changes in local species and habitat.
Make top ten lists, perhaps noting ten trees in leaf, or ten insects, or your ten favourite flowers, or ten reasons you love nature.
Your entries can be in the form of observations, notes, thoughts, essays, poems or stories. Use words, tables and graphs, sketches and photographs. Include pressed flowers or leaves, feathers, bark rubbings, nature printings.
Tips for making a nature journal:
Don't feel you have to write every day, but do try and journal as regularly as you can. You will benefit more from being able to see the changes around you.
Remember, it's your journal. No one else has to see it, so don't worry about making it perfect. (Nature journals are supposed to look rustic!)
Take care of the environment. Always follow countryside codes, be respectful of land, animals and people you come across. Make sure you remove all your litter when you leave an area.
Be safe. If you are going out into the wilds, make sure you are well-prepared. If you are going alone, make sure someone knows exactly where you're going, and exactly when to expect you back.
But you don't have to trek out into the wilderness. You can keep a nature journal in your garden or allotment, in a city park or local woods, or at the seaside. Your nature journal doesn't have to be about a vast open space. A stream is as good as a river, a pond as good as a lake. A hedgerow is an excellent place to nature journal, the smallest corner of a garden can give you plenty of material.
Read the works of other nature writers to get ideas. Read magazines like the National Geographic, or journals like Nature. Watch nature documentaries. Join an online forum.
Do some further research to learn more about the things you discover while making a nature journal. (But don't let this take over from the journaling itself!)
Take time to decorate your journal. Use coloured inks or watercolours to fill in sketches. Use stamps, transfers and stickers to further illustrate your findings. Add borders, experiment with various ways of writing - try a different style of writing or write text in blocks, perhaps in different directions. Add arrows and stars or smiley faces. Play with it, have fun with it. Make it yours.
Websites about making a nature journal:
http://www.connecting-with-nature.net/journal.htm l (equipment, ideas, prompts, checklists)
http://www.eenorthcarolina.org/art/journaling.htm (books, websites, activities)
http://www.kporterfield.com/journal/Journal_Nature .html (tips, resources)
http://www.sierraclub.org/education/nature_journal .asp (everything you need to know about making a nature journal)http://www.smithsonianeducation.org/educators/less on_plans/journals/index.html (history, ideas, lesson plans)
Books about making a nature journal:
'Keeping a Nature Journal: Discover a Whole New Way of Seeing the World Around You' by Clare Walker Leslie and Charles E. Roth
'The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady' by Edith Holden
'A Trail Through Leaves: The Journal as a Path to Place' by Hannah Hinchman
'The Sierra Club Guide to Sketching in Nature' by Cathy Johnson
Articles about making a nature journal:
More articles on nature journals at Helium.
I've just realised I've only posted once on here in almost 6 weeks!
Been a very busy bee elsewhere, though. I've written a lot, including a number of articles for Helium. Am working on my first article to submit for publishing in a local newpaper and have started a new blog to chart the journey into freelance writing.
International Women's Day: Towards 2011
I write for five blogs, now. Although the fifth blog isn't mine ... it's ours! Towards 2011, started with aliqot, in response to the lack of information we could find about International Women's Day, which was started in 1911.
We hope Towards 2011 will become a collection (perhaps a 'conversation') of widely-varying perpectives from all kinds of women, at the same time as promoting IWD and looking forward to centenary celebrations.
It's feminist blog (I'm not scared to call myself a feminist!) It's a blog by women, about women and for women, but men are very welcome too. As human beings, individually and as a society, we can all benefit from feminism.
Student Mum: Blogging Goals
Anyway, more about this blog, my poor neglected Student Mum! I've spent some time spring cleaning and organising (the house, my workspace, my writing routine, my mind, my life ...) recently. I've learned that setting specific goals and writing them on my blog helps me to attain them. So, my goal for Student Mum is to post once a week (on Saturdays to be even more specific.)
I'm still going to post on Write Here! Mondays will be 'Moondays'; Wednesdays will be about Creativity and Productivity; Fridays will be Feelgoods and Wellbeing. The Freelance Writing Learning Curve/Life is a Learning Curve will have one post a day, Mondays to Fridays. And I'll write at least once a week on Towards 2011.
Plus working on articles and an ebook (craft-based, for the wonderful Dabbling Mum) so sometimes, I will have to cheat. Like here, another article from Helium!
Celebrating Spring
I've been thinking of ways to celebrate Spring (am feeling full of Spring Fever!) and I think starting a Nature Journal would be perfect, there's so much going on at this time of year and it's a lovely thing to do on your own or as a family.
What is a nature journal?
A nature journal is like any other journal, but is grounded in observations of nature. Making a nature journal is a very personal thing; each journal will be (should be) unique. Some may take the form of brief field notes, others will lean towards the literary, or be a combination of the two. Some will be mostly words, others mostly pictures.
Why keep a nature journal?
Spending time in nature reconnects us to natural rhythms as well as to our inner selves. Keeping a nature journal develops skills (making observations, for example) and involves all five senses. It encourages us to live in the moment. It helps to alleviate stress and supports the creative flow. Keeping records of the nature around us has other benefits too, providing information to refer back to (very useful when a nature journal is about a garden for example, to see what worked and what didn't in a previous year), but also providing a record for future generations.
How to make a nature journal?
Choose a hard-backed book with quality paper because it will prove more hard-wearing, but it's a good idea to keep it in a plastic wallet to protect it from the elements. Blank pages are better than lined, as you will likely make sketches too. Choose a size small enough to put in your pocket.
Or try keeping a nature journal online in the form of a blog. You will still need a small notebook or sketchbook when you are out though, to record things you want to write about later, but the quality won't matter so much.
Write through your senses. Record sights, sounds, smells, textures and tastes. But also include moods and feelings invoked by the nature you experience.
Try visiting the same spot once a week to build up a picture of seasonal changes, or visit the same spot at different times of day to observe smaller changes.
A dictaphone (or other sound recorder) and a camera are very useful tools when you're making a nature journal. A flexible ruler or tape measure will also come in handy. For an interesting approach, use a square wooden frame to put over an area of ground and record the life you discover within it. Try moving the square to another area, or repeating it at another time of day (or year.)
What to put in a nature journal?
For each entry, note the date, time, location, weather, plant-life, birds/animals/insects (behaviour, movements, food, sounds), minerals, geological aspects, sky (clouds, stars, moon, sun). You could also note the tides, dawn/sunset times and things like the equinox.
When you are making a nature journal, use the questions, "What, when, where and how?"
Indulge your senses. Ask yourself, "What can I hear, see, smell, feel, taste?"
Observe changes in local species and habitat.
Make top ten lists, perhaps noting ten trees in leaf, or ten insects, or your ten favourite flowers, or ten reasons you love nature.
Your entries can be in the form of observations, notes, thoughts, essays, poems or stories. Use words, tables and graphs, sketches and photographs. Include pressed flowers or leaves, feathers, bark rubbings, nature printings.
Tips for making a nature journal:
Don't feel you have to write every day, but do try and journal as regularly as you can. You will benefit more from being able to see the changes around you.
Remember, it's your journal. No one else has to see it, so don't worry about making it perfect. (Nature journals are supposed to look rustic!)
Take care of the environment. Always follow countryside codes, be respectful of land, animals and people you come across. Make sure you remove all your litter when you leave an area.
Be safe. If you are going out into the wilds, make sure you are well-prepared. If you are going alone, make sure someone knows exactly where you're going, and exactly when to expect you back.
But you don't have to trek out into the wilderness. You can keep a nature journal in your garden or allotment, in a city park or local woods, or at the seaside. Your nature journal doesn't have to be about a vast open space. A stream is as good as a river, a pond as good as a lake. A hedgerow is an excellent place to nature journal, the smallest corner of a garden can give you plenty of material.
Read the works of other nature writers to get ideas. Read magazines like the National Geographic, or journals like Nature. Watch nature documentaries. Join an online forum.
Do some further research to learn more about the things you discover while making a nature journal. (But don't let this take over from the journaling itself!)
Take time to decorate your journal. Use coloured inks or watercolours to fill in sketches. Use stamps, transfers and stickers to further illustrate your findings. Add borders, experiment with various ways of writing - try a different style of writing or write text in blocks, perhaps in different directions. Add arrows and stars or smiley faces. Play with it, have fun with it. Make it yours.
Websites about making a nature journal:
http://www.connecting-with-nature.net/journal.htm l (equipment, ideas, prompts, checklists)
http://www.eenorthcarolina.org/art/journaling.htm (books, websites, activities)
http://www.kporterfield.com/journal/Journal_Nature .html (tips, resources)
http://www.sierraclub.org/education/nature_journal .asp (everything you need to know about making a nature journal)http://www.smithsonianeducation.org/educators/less on_plans/journals/index.html (history, ideas, lesson plans)
Books about making a nature journal:
'Keeping a Nature Journal: Discover a Whole New Way of Seeing the World Around You' by Clare Walker Leslie and Charles E. Roth
'The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady' by Edith Holden
'A Trail Through Leaves: The Journal as a Path to Place' by Hannah Hinchman
'The Sierra Club Guide to Sketching in Nature' by Cathy Johnson
Articles about making a nature journal:
More articles on nature journals at Helium.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Strategies for Parenting Spirited Children
As a Mum blessed with two highly-spirited teenage daughters, I have spent almost two decades being challenged and stretched as a person, meaning I have learnt much about life and myself. Along the way, I have discovered some useful strategies.
Perhaps the most effective strategy my girls have taught me, is to celebrate spirited children; to see parenting them as both an amazing adventure and an awesome privilege. That's not to say it hasn't been incredibly difficult at times. At one point, my advice to anyone with a fourteen year-old quite as 'spirited' as my eldest daughter, would have been, "Grit your teeth and hang on for dear life!"
My daughters are very spirited in very different ways. My youngest is full of physical energy. Even as a baby, she was always wriggling to get down and be off exploring the world. She is the child who comes home with wild hair, muddy clothes and scraped knees. She helps out on a farm at weekends and with the beach ponies in the Summer Holidays, which allows her the space to cherish her spirit in a safe environment. She is a very independent thinker and has a unique sense of style. Where she is non-conforming, her elder sister is outright rebellious.
I raised them both with the belief that they are unique and wonderful individuals. I have actively encouraged them to be adventurous, to question everything, to speak their minds (to make their own minds up), and to be true to themselves, even if I don't always like what they say or do, or think. I did doubt that this was the best policy when my eldest daughter turned fourteen and went totally off the rails. I wondered if I had inadvertently created a monster - rude, aggressive, anarchic, with no respect for others or for herself. But she has matured into a young woman I really respect and admire, and I overheard her telling a friend recently that we have an "excellent relationship."
The rough times were difficult, frustrating, even scary, but along the way we have developed certain strategies which work for us. I think trust, communication and respect are fundamental to the relationships I have with my daughters, and to the relationship they have with each other. I have learned to trust their judgement and they have absolute trust in the fact that I will always have their best interests at heart, and will always support them.
This effects the way we communicate. Both girls have always told me what's happening in their lives; they come to me with problems and with mistakes. We have always been open and honest with each other; I am happy to admit when I am wrong or when I don't know something, and happy to accept that sometimes, they might actually know better than me.
I have also learned how to listen. Properly. I have realized that trying to guide my eldest daughter down a traditional academic path (the choice I truly thought best for her), while she was trying to tell me she would prefer a more vocational pathway, was one of a number of things that sent her into a spin, resulting in exclusion from school and no education at all. Exclusion from school, in a house where there was only one parent to bring in an income, was disastrous in all sorts of ways.
So, when my youngest daughter recently chose her GCSE options, I expressed my opinion when asked, but encouraged her to make her own decision. She was very proud of herself when she returned the form to school. And so she should be. She took time to consider what would be best for herself, she asked for advice and listened carefully, then balancing all she knew, she chose very wisely I think. We are always most successful when we do the things we love doing, so I think she will have a very positive two years at school.
Most of the strategies that help with parenting spirited children are strategies that are useful in life generally. Maintaining a sense of humour is necessary to my sanity. Postive thinking of any kind makes everything easier. I always try and see weaknesses as strengths, problems as challenges, and mistakes as lessons.
I put a positive light on my youngest daughter's first large-scale artistic creation, an amazing mural in coloured crayon, on the kitchen door. I went out and bought some blackboard paint and lots of chalk, and made half her bedroom into a blackboard, explaining that was her studio; her very own place to be creative.
Spirited children are often labelled as "problem" children of some kind, but if we think of certain "negative" characteristics in a different way, we can put a positive spin on them. A child who is "demanding, wilful, defiant, stubborn, impulsive and unruly" becomes one who is "assertive and determined, an independent thinker, full of energy, who understands value and expects the best of life and of themselves, and will never be easily manipulated." These are all important traits to have in order to thrive in the big wide world.
Another strategy that I find works, is not to take things too personally. Whether a teen or a toddler, your child's frustration/anger/resentment will often be directed towards you, but may be nothing to do with you. I find not taking it personally prevents me from fuelling their anger and causing an argument that could easily be avoided.
I try and follow my Mum's advice: "Choose your battles carefully." Some things are worth waging war over, some are most definitely not. I have always had only a few, important rules in the house, which has meant fewer things for the girls to rebel against. I stand my ground on the big stuff and let the small stuff go.
Remind yourself it's just a phase when you hit a bump in the road. Everything changes. Things pass. What seems awful today may well seem very funny when you look back on it.
Maintain your own spirit. This is the foundation upon which I have raised spirited children. I try to be a role model of how to be spirited while also being respectful, considerate, tolerant of other opinions and compassionate. Nurture your spirit and that of your children.
If you're lucky enough to have spirited children, celebrate them. For the first few years of my daughters' lives, we lived next door to a boy with cerebral palsy. He was a beautiful boy with a quick smile, but he was severely disabled, spent his life strapped in a chair, and would never be able to feed himself or get dressed, to walk or talk, to hold a crayon, or an argument.
I tried to remind myself, as one daughter or another ran me ragged, frustrated me, or made me thoroughly cross, that I was lucky to have children who were such bundles of energy, who were able to get into trouble.
Perhaps the most effective strategy my girls have taught me, is to celebrate spirited children; to see parenting them as both an amazing adventure and an awesome privilege. That's not to say it hasn't been incredibly difficult at times. At one point, my advice to anyone with a fourteen year-old quite as 'spirited' as my eldest daughter, would have been, "Grit your teeth and hang on for dear life!"
My daughters are very spirited in very different ways. My youngest is full of physical energy. Even as a baby, she was always wriggling to get down and be off exploring the world. She is the child who comes home with wild hair, muddy clothes and scraped knees. She helps out on a farm at weekends and with the beach ponies in the Summer Holidays, which allows her the space to cherish her spirit in a safe environment. She is a very independent thinker and has a unique sense of style. Where she is non-conforming, her elder sister is outright rebellious.
I raised them both with the belief that they are unique and wonderful individuals. I have actively encouraged them to be adventurous, to question everything, to speak their minds (to make their own minds up), and to be true to themselves, even if I don't always like what they say or do, or think. I did doubt that this was the best policy when my eldest daughter turned fourteen and went totally off the rails. I wondered if I had inadvertently created a monster - rude, aggressive, anarchic, with no respect for others or for herself. But she has matured into a young woman I really respect and admire, and I overheard her telling a friend recently that we have an "excellent relationship."
The rough times were difficult, frustrating, even scary, but along the way we have developed certain strategies which work for us. I think trust, communication and respect are fundamental to the relationships I have with my daughters, and to the relationship they have with each other. I have learned to trust their judgement and they have absolute trust in the fact that I will always have their best interests at heart, and will always support them.
This effects the way we communicate. Both girls have always told me what's happening in their lives; they come to me with problems and with mistakes. We have always been open and honest with each other; I am happy to admit when I am wrong or when I don't know something, and happy to accept that sometimes, they might actually know better than me.
I have also learned how to listen. Properly. I have realized that trying to guide my eldest daughter down a traditional academic path (the choice I truly thought best for her), while she was trying to tell me she would prefer a more vocational pathway, was one of a number of things that sent her into a spin, resulting in exclusion from school and no education at all. Exclusion from school, in a house where there was only one parent to bring in an income, was disastrous in all sorts of ways.
So, when my youngest daughter recently chose her GCSE options, I expressed my opinion when asked, but encouraged her to make her own decision. She was very proud of herself when she returned the form to school. And so she should be. She took time to consider what would be best for herself, she asked for advice and listened carefully, then balancing all she knew, she chose very wisely I think. We are always most successful when we do the things we love doing, so I think she will have a very positive two years at school.
Most of the strategies that help with parenting spirited children are strategies that are useful in life generally. Maintaining a sense of humour is necessary to my sanity. Postive thinking of any kind makes everything easier. I always try and see weaknesses as strengths, problems as challenges, and mistakes as lessons.
I put a positive light on my youngest daughter's first large-scale artistic creation, an amazing mural in coloured crayon, on the kitchen door. I went out and bought some blackboard paint and lots of chalk, and made half her bedroom into a blackboard, explaining that was her studio; her very own place to be creative.
Spirited children are often labelled as "problem" children of some kind, but if we think of certain "negative" characteristics in a different way, we can put a positive spin on them. A child who is "demanding, wilful, defiant, stubborn, impulsive and unruly" becomes one who is "assertive and determined, an independent thinker, full of energy, who understands value and expects the best of life and of themselves, and will never be easily manipulated." These are all important traits to have in order to thrive in the big wide world.
Another strategy that I find works, is not to take things too personally. Whether a teen or a toddler, your child's frustration/anger/resentment will often be directed towards you, but may be nothing to do with you. I find not taking it personally prevents me from fuelling their anger and causing an argument that could easily be avoided.
I try and follow my Mum's advice: "Choose your battles carefully." Some things are worth waging war over, some are most definitely not. I have always had only a few, important rules in the house, which has meant fewer things for the girls to rebel against. I stand my ground on the big stuff and let the small stuff go.
Remind yourself it's just a phase when you hit a bump in the road. Everything changes. Things pass. What seems awful today may well seem very funny when you look back on it.
Maintain your own spirit. This is the foundation upon which I have raised spirited children. I try to be a role model of how to be spirited while also being respectful, considerate, tolerant of other opinions and compassionate. Nurture your spirit and that of your children.
If you're lucky enough to have spirited children, celebrate them. For the first few years of my daughters' lives, we lived next door to a boy with cerebral palsy. He was a beautiful boy with a quick smile, but he was severely disabled, spent his life strapped in a chair, and would never be able to feed himself or get dressed, to walk or talk, to hold a crayon, or an argument.
I tried to remind myself, as one daughter or another ran me ragged, frustrated me, or made me thoroughly cross, that I was lucky to have children who were such bundles of energy, who were able to get into trouble.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day!
I'm sorry about the quashed text! It does this sometimes. Does anyone know why? (Or how to stop it!) I have edited it three times and it doesn't seem to make any difference. Can't keep playing around with it, as I have a million and one things to do, as usual! I'll try once more and then come back to it later.
Top Ten Valentine's Movies for Kids
Whether or not you have a partner to share Valentine's Day with, it's fun to share it with the kids. I have found three fab websites with lots of wonderful things to do with the kids this Valentine's Day. (My two always love an excuse to plan a party, cook up some delicious treats, or get all the craft stuff out on the kitchen table for a creative session!)
There are lots of ideas here, including crafts, cards and posters, recipes, romantic poems and films, and Valentine's day jokes and riddles. Most of the sites I have included are aimed at families or children and are well worth checking out at any time, but have special Valentine's pages.
My Top Three
1. Kaboose is a fantastic family network site, with some great suggestions for any time of year, but here are some fab Valentine's ideas:
Top Ten Valentine's Movies for Kids
Valentine's Jokes and Riddles
Tips for Fab Valentine's Parties
Simple Valentine's Cards to Make
Lovely Valentine's Crafts
Scrummy Recipes
There are some interesting articles for couples too, with advice for making time for romance amid the chaos of family:
How to Date Your Spouse (and Why You Should!) by Tracy Line
Easy Steps for Nurturing Your Marriage by Jacey Reynolds
2. Another website worth a visit is the Holiday Spot's Valentine's Page:
Free Screensavers and Wallpapers
Recipes for Love
Romantic Poems
Some Lovely Romantic Ideas:
How to Say I Love You in Different Languages
21 Reasons Why You Love Him/Her
3. DLTK's Growing Together site is another fantastic site for families all year round. Check out their special Valentine's pages:
Posters to Colour
Love Poems
Romantic Recipes
A Ton of Further Valentine's Links
The Best of the Rest
Here are a few more websites with Valentine's ideas to try out with the kids:
You certainly won't be stuck for things to do to celebrate Valentine's Day! Have Fun! :o)
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Consultancy works!
A recent example of me being a consultant rather than a manager:
Eldest daughter says she wants her tongue pierced.
I ask her why. The only thing she could come up with is because all her friends are getting it done. I remind her that there should always be another good reason to do something besides the fact that everyone else is doing it.
I tell her I don't want her to, explaining that it can damage the teeth, problems (inflamation, infection, etc.) are common afterwards, serious problems are not rare ...
(What I wanted to say was: NO WAY! You are absolutely NOT under any circumstances getting your tongue pierced!!! And especially not it it's just because everyone else is doing it!)
She says she is going to get it done anyway.
I say I won't go with her. Or give my permission or condone it in any way. She tells me she'll go to someone who will do it regardless, and if it all goes wrong it will be my fault. (Haha! Aren't kids clever?) I tell her that will be fine, if she makes that choice she will have to live with the consequences, and it won't really make her tongue feel better to blame it all on me.
Thinking ...
She asks me if I'm going to stop her doing it. (As if I have any choice!)
I say no, but ask her to mull it over for a while before she rushes out and does something she might regret.
At the moment, it's forgotten. I think a friend's bad experience a few days later, with a badly swollen tongue (and removal of piercing in the end anyway) might have had something to do with it!
Eldest daughter says she wants her tongue pierced.
I ask her why. The only thing she could come up with is because all her friends are getting it done. I remind her that there should always be another good reason to do something besides the fact that everyone else is doing it.
I tell her I don't want her to, explaining that it can damage the teeth, problems (inflamation, infection, etc.) are common afterwards, serious problems are not rare ...
(What I wanted to say was: NO WAY! You are absolutely NOT under any circumstances getting your tongue pierced!!! And especially not it it's just because everyone else is doing it!)
She says she is going to get it done anyway.
I say I won't go with her. Or give my permission or condone it in any way. She tells me she'll go to someone who will do it regardless, and if it all goes wrong it will be my fault. (Haha! Aren't kids clever?) I tell her that will be fine, if she makes that choice she will have to live with the consequences, and it won't really make her tongue feel better to blame it all on me.
Thinking ...
She asks me if I'm going to stop her doing it. (As if I have any choice!)
I say no, but ask her to mull it over for a while before she rushes out and does something she might regret.
At the moment, it's forgotten. I think a friend's bad experience a few days later, with a badly swollen tongue (and removal of piercing in the end anyway) might have had something to do with it!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Parenting Skills (Part One): Are you a manager or a consultant?
'Parenting skills' is a much-used term, but what are the skills necessary to be a successful parent? And how do we learn them?
What does the term 'successful' really mean when applied to parenting, anyway? I have always thought that my job as a parent is to raise my daughters to be well-balanced, healthy individuals with the skills and choices necessary to thrive in adult life. But if they are not in the end well-balanced and healthy, if their choices are limited, if they don't thrive in adult life, will that mean I have been a failure as a parent?
Being a parent is scary ... it's the most important job in the world, but we do it with no training or support, and it's a job in which doing our best might not be good enough.
I really believe that parenting is only a small part of the process involved in a child developing into an adult. The character of a child is only partly shaped by parents, and the part parents play in this process lessens as a child grows. A child's personality is indeed influenced by parents, but is also affected by other people, by personal choices, by events beyond control, by unique experiences and primarily, by the innate character of the child - the way in which they perceive, and interact with, the world around them. Parents cannot make an extrovert out of an introvert, for example, although sadly, I think some try very hard.
So far, I think I'm doing a pretty good job as a parent, although I am definitely a work in progress! But had you asked me two years ago, I would have probably said I had failed miserably. Eldest daughter was on the rampage, permanently excluded from school, in and out of court, having sex, doing drugs and staying out for nights on end, with no respect for anyone, declared by the local Police to be the one of the five worst young offenders in Scarborough, and the youngest girl in the country with an ASBO. When she was home, she raged. The more I tried to save her from herself, the further I seemed to push her down that road of self-destruction.
I thought my entire philosphy about raising children was inherently flawed. I have always encouraged my girls to make their own choices, and to express their opinions, whether or not I agree with them. I have encouraged their spirited, rebellious sides. I have cheered when they've been outspoken. I have taught them that they should only respect people who deserve their respect, that they should stand up for their own beliefs, that they shouldn't automatically do or say or think what they are told to by someone else.
So had I inadvertently raised an anti-social, anarchic, dysfunctional monster? Were we a dysfunctional family? Had I failed as a parent? There were many who insisted I had. Officials from the police, the court and various other institutions, suggested I 'try some discipline/take control/be a responsible parent ...' Not helpful. And they couldn't suggest any practical way of achieving such noble aims.
I tried to impose my authority on eldest daughter. I removed all privileges. I locked her in the house. (She jumped out of an upstairs window, which has no lock.) We fought constantly. She stayed at home less and less, we couldn't be in the same room without arguing. We hated each other. We hated ouselves. I hated that I was becoming tyrannical, a dictator in a family that had always been a democracy. She hated the fact that I was always angry or upset with her. We were locked in an unending battle of wills, me and this tiny girl full of fury, and more spirit than I now knew what to do with.I was scared for her, in so many ways. I hated the choices she was making and tried to force her to make the 'right' ones. We didn't understand each other anymore, we couldn't communicate.
But positive people also entered our lives at the time. One of whom was a Parental Advisor, affiliated to the Youth Offending Team. I met her voluntarily, as I was under threat of a Parenting Order otherwise ... not entirely sure what a Parenting Order is, but it doesn't sound good! The PA was wonderful, had kids of her own (who weren't perfect, unlike the children of most people who offered me 'advice'!) and she gave me a gem of an idea:
You need to be a consultant, rather than a manager.
Fantastic! Instead of feeling helpless and with no control over the situation at all, I felt useful and empowered. Instead of feeling undermined, ignored and resented, I began to be a positive influence in my daughter's life again. She has worked hard to turn her life around and I am so proud of her. Most of her 'crowd' (her 'gang') have continued on a difficult and dangerous path, few have escaped repeated custodial sentences. It's very hard to come back from the brink of self-destruction, but she has shown determination, dedication and great maturity.
So if you ask me what the skills necessary to being a good parent are, the first one would be the ability to adapt. From the moment of birth, a child grows and develops, and so changes in many different ways. These changes become more obvious, more apparent, more extreme in adolescence, calling for the need to adapt on an almost daily basis. Apart from becoming a parent, the change from child to adult is possibly the greatest change we will make in our lives. It is difficult for teenagers, as they are neither children nor adults, but caught in a kind of limbo. Their confusion (and perhaps fear?), the pendulum of behaviour, their not knowing whether they are child or adult (whether they want to be child or adult), means it is difficult for a parent to know how to treat them, how to behave towards them, at any given moment.
Well, at least it makes for an interesting life!
Thinking of it from the perspective of a consultant rather than a manager makes sense and is helpful in avoiding huge power struggles. It allows me to take a step back a little, and my lovely, frustrating, fascinating child/adult to take control of her own life. (In a much safer way!) It encourages us to see the bigger picture. It forces us to communicate on a deeper level. It means we can work together in a balanced relationship to achieve success.
What does the term 'successful' really mean when applied to parenting, anyway? I have always thought that my job as a parent is to raise my daughters to be well-balanced, healthy individuals with the skills and choices necessary to thrive in adult life. But if they are not in the end well-balanced and healthy, if their choices are limited, if they don't thrive in adult life, will that mean I have been a failure as a parent?
Being a parent is scary ... it's the most important job in the world, but we do it with no training or support, and it's a job in which doing our best might not be good enough.
I really believe that parenting is only a small part of the process involved in a child developing into an adult. The character of a child is only partly shaped by parents, and the part parents play in this process lessens as a child grows. A child's personality is indeed influenced by parents, but is also affected by other people, by personal choices, by events beyond control, by unique experiences and primarily, by the innate character of the child - the way in which they perceive, and interact with, the world around them. Parents cannot make an extrovert out of an introvert, for example, although sadly, I think some try very hard.
So far, I think I'm doing a pretty good job as a parent, although I am definitely a work in progress! But had you asked me two years ago, I would have probably said I had failed miserably. Eldest daughter was on the rampage, permanently excluded from school, in and out of court, having sex, doing drugs and staying out for nights on end, with no respect for anyone, declared by the local Police to be the one of the five worst young offenders in Scarborough, and the youngest girl in the country with an ASBO. When she was home, she raged. The more I tried to save her from herself, the further I seemed to push her down that road of self-destruction.
I thought my entire philosphy about raising children was inherently flawed. I have always encouraged my girls to make their own choices, and to express their opinions, whether or not I agree with them. I have encouraged their spirited, rebellious sides. I have cheered when they've been outspoken. I have taught them that they should only respect people who deserve their respect, that they should stand up for their own beliefs, that they shouldn't automatically do or say or think what they are told to by someone else.
So had I inadvertently raised an anti-social, anarchic, dysfunctional monster? Were we a dysfunctional family? Had I failed as a parent? There were many who insisted I had. Officials from the police, the court and various other institutions, suggested I 'try some discipline/take control/be a responsible parent ...' Not helpful. And they couldn't suggest any practical way of achieving such noble aims.
I tried to impose my authority on eldest daughter. I removed all privileges. I locked her in the house. (She jumped out of an upstairs window, which has no lock.) We fought constantly. She stayed at home less and less, we couldn't be in the same room without arguing. We hated each other. We hated ouselves. I hated that I was becoming tyrannical, a dictator in a family that had always been a democracy. She hated the fact that I was always angry or upset with her. We were locked in an unending battle of wills, me and this tiny girl full of fury, and more spirit than I now knew what to do with.I was scared for her, in so many ways. I hated the choices she was making and tried to force her to make the 'right' ones. We didn't understand each other anymore, we couldn't communicate.
But positive people also entered our lives at the time. One of whom was a Parental Advisor, affiliated to the Youth Offending Team. I met her voluntarily, as I was under threat of a Parenting Order otherwise ... not entirely sure what a Parenting Order is, but it doesn't sound good! The PA was wonderful, had kids of her own (who weren't perfect, unlike the children of most people who offered me 'advice'!) and she gave me a gem of an idea:
You need to be a consultant, rather than a manager.
Fantastic! Instead of feeling helpless and with no control over the situation at all, I felt useful and empowered. Instead of feeling undermined, ignored and resented, I began to be a positive influence in my daughter's life again. She has worked hard to turn her life around and I am so proud of her. Most of her 'crowd' (her 'gang') have continued on a difficult and dangerous path, few have escaped repeated custodial sentences. It's very hard to come back from the brink of self-destruction, but she has shown determination, dedication and great maturity.
So if you ask me what the skills necessary to being a good parent are, the first one would be the ability to adapt. From the moment of birth, a child grows and develops, and so changes in many different ways. These changes become more obvious, more apparent, more extreme in adolescence, calling for the need to adapt on an almost daily basis. Apart from becoming a parent, the change from child to adult is possibly the greatest change we will make in our lives. It is difficult for teenagers, as they are neither children nor adults, but caught in a kind of limbo. Their confusion (and perhaps fear?), the pendulum of behaviour, their not knowing whether they are child or adult (whether they want to be child or adult), means it is difficult for a parent to know how to treat them, how to behave towards them, at any given moment.
Well, at least it makes for an interesting life!
Thinking of it from the perspective of a consultant rather than a manager makes sense and is helpful in avoiding huge power struggles. It allows me to take a step back a little, and my lovely, frustrating, fascinating child/adult to take control of her own life. (In a much safer way!) It encourages us to see the bigger picture. It forces us to communicate on a deeper level. It means we can work together in a balanced relationship to achieve success.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Household Maintenance for Parents of Teenage Girls
I've done a couple of memes on my Write Here! blog, but thought this would be nice to post here.
With thanks and a big hug to the lovely Casdok! Check out her excellent blog, Mother of Shrek:
http://motherofshrek.blogspot.com/
Five Household Maintenance Tips:
(Mine are from the perspective of a mother of two teenage girls ...)
1. Learn how to put a 'lock' on the phone before teenage girls run up a bill you can't pay!
(I still don't know how to do this, but then it doesn't matter much now, seeing as we haven't got a phone line any more!)
2. If you are going to have girls, try and have them at least 6 years apart, so you don't have two teenage girls in the house at the same time!
(The doctor at my youngest daughter's primary school had FIVE!!! She said she wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But she said she would definitely recommend having five daughters in their twenties.)
3. Teach yourself how to do your own DIY. It saves lots of money if you can fix things yourself, like cupboard doors that have been kicked off their hinges (by teenager or by parent!)
(This tip was inspired by the fab list of tips by Chris, in her comment on Casdok's meme post. Check out her very funny blog too! Diet Coke Rocks, in my links.)
4. When teenage girls are having a bad hair day, don't try offering helpful suggestions, or even sincere compliments. Just go back to bed, or vacate the premises!
5. Listen carefully. Teenage girls are fascinating creatures (am sure boys are too, but I don't personally know any!) and say some very profound things ... and some very funny things too!
I have realised recently that I have a tendency to make assumptions about what my youngest daughter is saying or thinking during a conversation, which she hates (and quite rightly! I'm working on it ... I think I've got used to the way she thinks and need to remind myself that she is changing from child to adult and is likely to develop her thinking in all sorts of directions now.)
(If you'd like to try this meme yourself, consider yourself tagged!) :o)
With thanks and a big hug to the lovely Casdok! Check out her excellent blog, Mother of Shrek:
http://motherofshrek.blogspot.com/
Five Household Maintenance Tips:
(Mine are from the perspective of a mother of two teenage girls ...)
1. Learn how to put a 'lock' on the phone before teenage girls run up a bill you can't pay!
(I still don't know how to do this, but then it doesn't matter much now, seeing as we haven't got a phone line any more!)
2. If you are going to have girls, try and have them at least 6 years apart, so you don't have two teenage girls in the house at the same time!
(The doctor at my youngest daughter's primary school had FIVE!!! She said she wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But she said she would definitely recommend having five daughters in their twenties.)
3. Teach yourself how to do your own DIY. It saves lots of money if you can fix things yourself, like cupboard doors that have been kicked off their hinges (by teenager or by parent!)
(This tip was inspired by the fab list of tips by Chris, in her comment on Casdok's meme post. Check out her very funny blog too! Diet Coke Rocks, in my links.)
4. When teenage girls are having a bad hair day, don't try offering helpful suggestions, or even sincere compliments. Just go back to bed, or vacate the premises!
5. Listen carefully. Teenage girls are fascinating creatures (am sure boys are too, but I don't personally know any!) and say some very profound things ... and some very funny things too!
I have realised recently that I have a tendency to make assumptions about what my youngest daughter is saying or thinking during a conversation, which she hates (and quite rightly! I'm working on it ... I think I've got used to the way she thinks and need to remind myself that she is changing from child to adult and is likely to develop her thinking in all sorts of directions now.)
(If you'd like to try this meme yourself, consider yourself tagged!) :o)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Writing an Essay
Ten Tips for writing an Essay
1. Know Your Stuff!
Assess your current knowledge and understanding of the subject you will be writing about.
Collate all the information you already have – a mind map is an excellent way to do this, and it’s well worth finding a little time to dip into The Mindmap Book, by the Buzan brothers. Alternatively, list everything you know, using different colour pens to group items, to highlight the most important or relevant, or to distinguish areas you may need to revisit.
Once you know what you know, you need to know what you don’t know! List areas you need to research and possible sources, begin researching with specific questions in mind (or better still, written down!)
Make sure your research is wide-ranging but focussed. Be methodical in your note-taking and especially careful in recording your references, to avoid any possibility of unintentional plagiarism.
2. Hit the Books!
You should be reading around the subject extensively before you even get your assignment.
Make notes and list questions for further research as you read. Keep notes concise, using keywords and short quotations, briefly expanded by your own ideas.
Keeping your assignment in mind, learn to skim read for things of interest, which you can then later read in depth. This way you get to filter out irrelevancies, making more effective use of the time you spend reading.
Read a variety of texts, by various authors, expand your module reading list in all directions. Use a variety of media (radio/tv broadcasts, films, the internet) but maintain an academic focus.
3. The Best-Laid Plans …!
Take the time to make a written study plan (essential to effective time-management)
A definitive plan will help to avoid eleventh hour disasters. At the very least, list how many weeks/hours you can realistically expect to use for studying before the assignment is due. Note special lectures or tutorials.
Appreciate time as an important resource – use it wisely and avoid the destructive cycle of procrastinating and binge studying.
Expect the unexpected! Practically, this means plan to allow yourself some ‘extra’ time to deal with unexpected events.
4. Radiant Thinking!
Your brain is amazing, and one of your most important resources.
Approach your assignment with resolve, imagination and a positive outlook. Treat it as an opportunity to showcase your knowledge and understanding.
Recognise your resources – be imaginative! These include physical, intellectual and emotional aspects of yourself, time and space, health, fun and relaxation, and other people.
Try mind mapping – the perfect example of radiant thinking and an excellent resource to use in all areas of your studying (in fact, in all areas of your life!)
5. Raw Ingredients!
Lectures are the raw ingredients of an assignment. You mix them together, add a few more things, some time and some care, and voilá! your recipe for success!
Preparation - To make the most of lectures, ensure you arrive on time, in the right frame of mind, and with everything you need. Don’t ignore something you don’t understand – make a note of it and approach the lecturer for some help at an appropriate time.
Notes – trying to take extensive, detailed notes during an interesting lecture is almost impossible – it means you often miss useful ideas or information. Try using key words or mind mapping. Expand, action and file notes weekly.
Appreciation – express your appreciation to lecturers – always thank them for their time and insight, and tell them when they give a lecture in a particularly useful format. Use any module feedback sheets.
6. Waving, Not Drowning!
Everyone needs a little support now and then.
There are plenty of sources of support within university, depending on the type of help you need. You may need someone to explain things in greater depth, or to advise you about your grammar, or to help you with time-keeping, to inspire you or reboot your enthusiasm, or perhaps you just need a friendly ear.
Ask for help sooner rather than later. Ensure clear communication with lecturers, your family and friends, to keep them informed of your progress and of your needs.
Recognising where you need support, and reaching out to ask for it, are strengths well worth developing as general life-skills. When stuck with an essay, a few minutes conversation with someone can make all the difference.
7. Clean and tidy!
Make sure the format of your assignment is logical, balanced, of a high academic standard, and thoroughly readable.
Ensure an academic style (language, grammar, punctuation) and follow the guidelines for presentation in module handbooks.
Pay attention to your referencing. Stick rigidly to whichever system is preferred in your area of study. Keep any footnotes succinct and take time with your bibliography.
8. Nail Your Argument!
An imaginative, innovative argument will usually be appreciated, but ensure your argument makes sense!
Use words, statistics and diagrams, to underpin your argument as necessary.
Support your argument with academic references. You must ground any argument in existing understanding or theory.
Provide an extensive bibliography to support your references. Never include texts you haven’t read.
9. Make it Shine!
Leave time at the end to polish your work before it is submitted.
A rushed finish is always evident and always disappointing. Build time into your plan to avoid the frustration of handing in a piece of work and knowing you could have done a much better job. A final, thorough proofread prevents sloppy mistakes.
If possible, have a break for a few days before your final edit/proofread, so you read it with fresh eyes. Or ask someone else to read it for you.
Pay attention to external presentation – first impressions do count! Unless told specifically which kind of folder to use, bear in mind the ease of reading when you choose. Use high quality paper and ensure your printing is crisp and clear.
10. Avoid the White Rabbit Syndrome!
Avoid the need for extensions – they do nothing for your self-esteem, your stress levels or your academic reputation.
If the unthinkable happens and for genuine reasons, beyond your control, you need an extension, approach your lecturer. Be prepared to fill in a mitigating circumstances form, and to support it with evidence. However, the following will guard against the need for extensions.
Set early deadlines. When you first receive a submission date, change it! Choose a date (1-2 weeks earlier depending on the length, the time necessary and the time available) a date that is memorable to you. From this point on, focus on this new deadline, and ‘forget’ the original.
Set yourself ‘mini’ deadlines, working backwards from the 'revised' due date, enlisting support to treat them seriously, and to stick to them.
More on this later, as it's a huge part of studying! But one more, very important tip: If you get the chance to choose your own essay title/subject, choose something you find interesting and have fun with it!
(And bear in mind that lecturers read a lot of essays, many of which are very similar, so if you choose the title or subject everyone else is avoiding, it will provide a refreshing change for the person marking your work!)
1. Know Your Stuff!
Assess your current knowledge and understanding of the subject you will be writing about.
Collate all the information you already have – a mind map is an excellent way to do this, and it’s well worth finding a little time to dip into The Mindmap Book, by the Buzan brothers. Alternatively, list everything you know, using different colour pens to group items, to highlight the most important or relevant, or to distinguish areas you may need to revisit.
Once you know what you know, you need to know what you don’t know! List areas you need to research and possible sources, begin researching with specific questions in mind (or better still, written down!)
Make sure your research is wide-ranging but focussed. Be methodical in your note-taking and especially careful in recording your references, to avoid any possibility of unintentional plagiarism.
2. Hit the Books!
You should be reading around the subject extensively before you even get your assignment.
Make notes and list questions for further research as you read. Keep notes concise, using keywords and short quotations, briefly expanded by your own ideas.
Keeping your assignment in mind, learn to skim read for things of interest, which you can then later read in depth. This way you get to filter out irrelevancies, making more effective use of the time you spend reading.
Read a variety of texts, by various authors, expand your module reading list in all directions. Use a variety of media (radio/tv broadcasts, films, the internet) but maintain an academic focus.
3. The Best-Laid Plans …!
Take the time to make a written study plan (essential to effective time-management)
A definitive plan will help to avoid eleventh hour disasters. At the very least, list how many weeks/hours you can realistically expect to use for studying before the assignment is due. Note special lectures or tutorials.
Appreciate time as an important resource – use it wisely and avoid the destructive cycle of procrastinating and binge studying.
Expect the unexpected! Practically, this means plan to allow yourself some ‘extra’ time to deal with unexpected events.
4. Radiant Thinking!
Your brain is amazing, and one of your most important resources.
Approach your assignment with resolve, imagination and a positive outlook. Treat it as an opportunity to showcase your knowledge and understanding.
Recognise your resources – be imaginative! These include physical, intellectual and emotional aspects of yourself, time and space, health, fun and relaxation, and other people.
Try mind mapping – the perfect example of radiant thinking and an excellent resource to use in all areas of your studying (in fact, in all areas of your life!)
5. Raw Ingredients!
Lectures are the raw ingredients of an assignment. You mix them together, add a few more things, some time and some care, and voilá! your recipe for success!
Preparation - To make the most of lectures, ensure you arrive on time, in the right frame of mind, and with everything you need. Don’t ignore something you don’t understand – make a note of it and approach the lecturer for some help at an appropriate time.
Notes – trying to take extensive, detailed notes during an interesting lecture is almost impossible – it means you often miss useful ideas or information. Try using key words or mind mapping. Expand, action and file notes weekly.
Appreciation – express your appreciation to lecturers – always thank them for their time and insight, and tell them when they give a lecture in a particularly useful format. Use any module feedback sheets.
6. Waving, Not Drowning!
Everyone needs a little support now and then.
There are plenty of sources of support within university, depending on the type of help you need. You may need someone to explain things in greater depth, or to advise you about your grammar, or to help you with time-keeping, to inspire you or reboot your enthusiasm, or perhaps you just need a friendly ear.
Ask for help sooner rather than later. Ensure clear communication with lecturers, your family and friends, to keep them informed of your progress and of your needs.
Recognising where you need support, and reaching out to ask for it, are strengths well worth developing as general life-skills. When stuck with an essay, a few minutes conversation with someone can make all the difference.
7. Clean and tidy!
Make sure the format of your assignment is logical, balanced, of a high academic standard, and thoroughly readable.
Ensure an academic style (language, grammar, punctuation) and follow the guidelines for presentation in module handbooks.
Pay attention to your referencing. Stick rigidly to whichever system is preferred in your area of study. Keep any footnotes succinct and take time with your bibliography.
8. Nail Your Argument!
An imaginative, innovative argument will usually be appreciated, but ensure your argument makes sense!
Use words, statistics and diagrams, to underpin your argument as necessary.
Support your argument with academic references. You must ground any argument in existing understanding or theory.
Provide an extensive bibliography to support your references. Never include texts you haven’t read.
9. Make it Shine!
Leave time at the end to polish your work before it is submitted.
A rushed finish is always evident and always disappointing. Build time into your plan to avoid the frustration of handing in a piece of work and knowing you could have done a much better job. A final, thorough proofread prevents sloppy mistakes.
If possible, have a break for a few days before your final edit/proofread, so you read it with fresh eyes. Or ask someone else to read it for you.
Pay attention to external presentation – first impressions do count! Unless told specifically which kind of folder to use, bear in mind the ease of reading when you choose. Use high quality paper and ensure your printing is crisp and clear.
10. Avoid the White Rabbit Syndrome!
Avoid the need for extensions – they do nothing for your self-esteem, your stress levels or your academic reputation.
If the unthinkable happens and for genuine reasons, beyond your control, you need an extension, approach your lecturer. Be prepared to fill in a mitigating circumstances form, and to support it with evidence. However, the following will guard against the need for extensions.
Set early deadlines. When you first receive a submission date, change it! Choose a date (1-2 weeks earlier depending on the length, the time necessary and the time available) a date that is memorable to you. From this point on, focus on this new deadline, and ‘forget’ the original.
Set yourself ‘mini’ deadlines, working backwards from the 'revised' due date, enlisting support to treat them seriously, and to stick to them.
More on this later, as it's a huge part of studying! But one more, very important tip: If you get the chance to choose your own essay title/subject, choose something you find interesting and have fun with it!
(And bear in mind that lecturers read a lot of essays, many of which are very similar, so if you choose the title or subject everyone else is avoiding, it will provide a refreshing change for the person marking your work!)
Money Money Money (must be funny!)
Hmmmm, I really should practise what I preach!
The very first tip here is something I struggle with continuously ... see my Learning Curve blog!
Ten Tips for Managing Money
1. No Time Like the Present!
Use your time wisely – it doesn’t take long to assess and gain (maintain) control of your finances It’s much easier to be an ostrich and avoid dealing with things, but they soon grow into much longer, more demanding tasks.
Set aside a morning or afternoon to draw up a proper plan, and then allow half an hour every week for ongoing management.
The passage of time – time offers a new perspective. Big problems become much smaller in the grand scheme of things.
Read, action and file financial paperwork every day – a few minutes will save hours of frustration trying to find paperwork later, and also prevents feeling so overwhelmed by something that you can no longer face it.
2. Stay in Touch!
Handle your money in person – avoid any kind of technological payment, and stick to cash as much as possible.
Get touchy-feely with your money, and you will appreciate it more. Withdraw a lump sum of cash at the beginning of the week and make it last.
Control your spending – it is easy to underestimate your spending. Make sure you have a realistic picture, by keeping a record – the longer the period covered, the better the picture you will have.
Suze Orman suggests that ‘how you actually keep your money, is where respect for it starts.’ Keep your purse/wallet tidy, with notes straight, the same way round and organised into different denominations.
3. Weed your Garden!
Tend your financial garden, removing all weeds of past mistakes and future fears.
Suzanne Olson believes that our relationship with money is founded on our earliest memories of it, and she offers interesting advice to help you face up to and overcome financial difficulties.
Learn from mistakes, rather than hide from them – weeds will soon overtake your garden if you ignore them.
Face the fear – understand your fears and take action to address them.
4. Value Evaluation!
Things only run smoothly in life if they are based on your core values.
Assess your personal values and integrate them into your financial life.
Value your money – don’t throw it away! Throwing away unread magazines, rarely worn clothes or shoes, unfinished toiletries, or food left to go off, is like throwing your money in the bin.
Distinguish wealth from riches. Never allow money to be the ‘be all and end all’ of life – learn to appreciate the important, priceless things in life.
5. The Budget Blues!
Keep it realistic – the best advice when it comes to budgeting is to be brutally honest with yourself.
Record your spending in detail and try and track it over a period (3-12 months) Remember to allow for ‘hidden’ spending when you draw up a budget.
Take control – when you blow your budget, admit it! Review the situation as soon as possible, make amendments and move forwards.
Freedom is a state of mind. Things change – such is life! Stay positive and believe that everything happens for a reason.
6. Think Small!
The mind is a powerful resource! Use it to your advantage in your financial life.
If you think you have less to spend, you will undoubtedly spend less. Here again, withdrawing a set amount of cash at the beginning of the week will help.
Appreciate the little things in life. Exchange dîner á deux for a bag of chips on a bench overlooking the sea. Receiving (or making) a hand-made gift cuts down on the costs and ups the feelgood factor. Always go for quality over quantity – a small bag of Thorntons is infinitely better than a big box of cheap chocs!
Pennies make pounds! Think carefully about small expenses – they soon add up. This works equally in reverse – save all your loose change in a bottle or jar (see Tip 9.)
7. Take Aim Carefully!
Think seriously, taking your values into consideration, before setting yourself goals.
Be adventurous. Write them down, using positive language, and set a date by which you want to achieve them.
Focus on one main goal and evaluate your progress regularly. Stay positive, don’t let any setbacks put you off.
Set SMART goals. (More about this later!)
8. Wolves At the Door!
It is probably impossible to finish University without having acquired any debt, but do your best to keep it under control, so you can start your working life in the best financial position possible.
Maintain control of your credit – unless strictly controlled, credit soon morphs into debt. Avoid credit cards if possible, otherwise research to get the best deal, try and pay the balance every month – use them as a short-term rather than a long-term loan.
If you get out of depth, ask for help – earlier rather than later. Debt mounts up quickly, never sorts itself out, and costs more as time passes. Deal with it before it becomes a problem.
Bin your pride – search the Funderfinder database for help from charitable sources, rather than borrowing more money.
9. Rainy Days!
Whether saving pennies for some spare cash at the end of the week/month/semester, or saving pounds in an account for a large expense (holiday, car, electric guitar …) remember that regular payments are the key to success.
Collect spare change - on a daily or weekly basis, empty your pockets into a jar, tin or bottle, and it will soon build up into something substantial. If you share your home, collect coins together and in just a few weeks you will be able to buy something for the home, put some money towards a bill or treat yourselves to a takeaway and DVD.
Research savings accounts thoroughly, and check out options such as ISAs. Be disciplined about saving, make regular payments into your account and avoid dipping into savings.
If you find yourself with some extra money that you want to invest, research your options thoroughly and seek professional advice.
10. Protect Yourself!
Keep yourself safe from financial pitfalls.
For a list of simple steps to avoid falling victim to the rapidly growing crime of identity theft, see the excellent website: Ihatefinancialplanning.com
Identity theft is a far-reaching, destructive crime with traumatic, disastrous circumstances, but it is easy to avoid. One of the simplest steps you can take, is to opt out of junk mail. This is not only easy to do, but saves natural resources and provides freedom from the frustration of piles of unwanted rubbish.
It is always a good idea to have some basic insurance, covering your belongings, your home (depending on your situation) and yourself, particularly when travelling or if a participant in dangerous activities.
The very first tip here is something I struggle with continuously ... see my Learning Curve blog!
Ten Tips for Managing Money
1. No Time Like the Present!
Use your time wisely – it doesn’t take long to assess and gain (maintain) control of your finances It’s much easier to be an ostrich and avoid dealing with things, but they soon grow into much longer, more demanding tasks.
Set aside a morning or afternoon to draw up a proper plan, and then allow half an hour every week for ongoing management.
The passage of time – time offers a new perspective. Big problems become much smaller in the grand scheme of things.
Read, action and file financial paperwork every day – a few minutes will save hours of frustration trying to find paperwork later, and also prevents feeling so overwhelmed by something that you can no longer face it.
2. Stay in Touch!
Handle your money in person – avoid any kind of technological payment, and stick to cash as much as possible.
Get touchy-feely with your money, and you will appreciate it more. Withdraw a lump sum of cash at the beginning of the week and make it last.
Control your spending – it is easy to underestimate your spending. Make sure you have a realistic picture, by keeping a record – the longer the period covered, the better the picture you will have.
Suze Orman suggests that ‘how you actually keep your money, is where respect for it starts.’ Keep your purse/wallet tidy, with notes straight, the same way round and organised into different denominations.
3. Weed your Garden!
Tend your financial garden, removing all weeds of past mistakes and future fears.
Suzanne Olson believes that our relationship with money is founded on our earliest memories of it, and she offers interesting advice to help you face up to and overcome financial difficulties.
Learn from mistakes, rather than hide from them – weeds will soon overtake your garden if you ignore them.
Face the fear – understand your fears and take action to address them.
4. Value Evaluation!
Things only run smoothly in life if they are based on your core values.
Assess your personal values and integrate them into your financial life.
Value your money – don’t throw it away! Throwing away unread magazines, rarely worn clothes or shoes, unfinished toiletries, or food left to go off, is like throwing your money in the bin.
Distinguish wealth from riches. Never allow money to be the ‘be all and end all’ of life – learn to appreciate the important, priceless things in life.
5. The Budget Blues!
Keep it realistic – the best advice when it comes to budgeting is to be brutally honest with yourself.
Record your spending in detail and try and track it over a period (3-12 months) Remember to allow for ‘hidden’ spending when you draw up a budget.
Take control – when you blow your budget, admit it! Review the situation as soon as possible, make amendments and move forwards.
Freedom is a state of mind. Things change – such is life! Stay positive and believe that everything happens for a reason.
6. Think Small!
The mind is a powerful resource! Use it to your advantage in your financial life.
If you think you have less to spend, you will undoubtedly spend less. Here again, withdrawing a set amount of cash at the beginning of the week will help.
Appreciate the little things in life. Exchange dîner á deux for a bag of chips on a bench overlooking the sea. Receiving (or making) a hand-made gift cuts down on the costs and ups the feelgood factor. Always go for quality over quantity – a small bag of Thorntons is infinitely better than a big box of cheap chocs!
Pennies make pounds! Think carefully about small expenses – they soon add up. This works equally in reverse – save all your loose change in a bottle or jar (see Tip 9.)
7. Take Aim Carefully!
Think seriously, taking your values into consideration, before setting yourself goals.
Be adventurous. Write them down, using positive language, and set a date by which you want to achieve them.
Focus on one main goal and evaluate your progress regularly. Stay positive, don’t let any setbacks put you off.
Set SMART goals. (More about this later!)
8. Wolves At the Door!
It is probably impossible to finish University without having acquired any debt, but do your best to keep it under control, so you can start your working life in the best financial position possible.
Maintain control of your credit – unless strictly controlled, credit soon morphs into debt. Avoid credit cards if possible, otherwise research to get the best deal, try and pay the balance every month – use them as a short-term rather than a long-term loan.
If you get out of depth, ask for help – earlier rather than later. Debt mounts up quickly, never sorts itself out, and costs more as time passes. Deal with it before it becomes a problem.
Bin your pride – search the Funderfinder database for help from charitable sources, rather than borrowing more money.
9. Rainy Days!
Whether saving pennies for some spare cash at the end of the week/month/semester, or saving pounds in an account for a large expense (holiday, car, electric guitar …) remember that regular payments are the key to success.
Collect spare change - on a daily or weekly basis, empty your pockets into a jar, tin or bottle, and it will soon build up into something substantial. If you share your home, collect coins together and in just a few weeks you will be able to buy something for the home, put some money towards a bill or treat yourselves to a takeaway and DVD.
Research savings accounts thoroughly, and check out options such as ISAs. Be disciplined about saving, make regular payments into your account and avoid dipping into savings.
If you find yourself with some extra money that you want to invest, research your options thoroughly and seek professional advice.
10. Protect Yourself!
Keep yourself safe from financial pitfalls.
For a list of simple steps to avoid falling victim to the rapidly growing crime of identity theft, see the excellent website: Ihatefinancialplanning.com
Identity theft is a far-reaching, destructive crime with traumatic, disastrous circumstances, but it is easy to avoid. One of the simplest steps you can take, is to opt out of junk mail. This is not only easy to do, but saves natural resources and provides freedom from the frustration of piles of unwanted rubbish.
It is always a good idea to have some basic insurance, covering your belongings, your home (depending on your situation) and yourself, particularly when travelling or if a participant in dangerous activities.
Poem as promised ...
I found two poems I wrote while struggling in the pit of despair, but thought I'd show you this one first, to explain that I really am not a poet, and I definitely know it!
Rhyming couplets still evade me
I just can't think in rhyme.
Perhaps the poetry of poetry
Will come to me in time ...
So, here's a couple of poems full of doom and gloom, not at all like my usual attempts:
The Abyss
Beyond the turmoil of overwhelming emotion
A spirit, torn apart, unrecognisable,
Lies within the abyss ...
Which may, for a time, be comforting
A place of no worry, no sorrow and no pain
But is a dangerous place
Where nothing can thrive,
Nothing can live for long ...
Love, smiles, hugs
Cannot enter here,
Cannot dispel the darkness.
Outside the walls, enemies lie in seige
Alongside friends and allies ...
All are held at bay
All are excluded.
Together they hammer on the gates ...
Gates which can only be opened outwards.
Sleepless
In the absolute silence of the hour before dawn
When i've climbed the walls, endlessly paced the floors
And finally wept myself empty,
I lie twisting in the void.
Differing emotions vying for attention
Clamouring for acceptance ...
Optimism is now the stuff of abandoned fairy tales
Pessimism is a shrine
Doubt and doom and gloom the new reality.
Sadness surges along every nerve,
Loneliness scrapes the surface of my skin
Teasing the fine hairs to attention.
The ache within threatens to explode and engulf me,
When Hope enters the fray once more
With battered standard,
Never far from the battlefield, from the never-ending struggle ...
Yet sadly,
A mere fleeting angel
Against such staunch opposition ...
Goodness! I really was in a bad place ... I certainly wouldn't want to go back there again, although the truth is that was the easy part. When I was actually in that dark place, I didn't give a damn!
The hard bit, the bit I really wouldn't want to do again (though it's good to know I can), was the struggle back to health. It took almost a year of hard work.
Here's a few examples of the sort of poetry I write usually (though to be honest am more a prose writer than a poet, so you mightn't call it poetry!):
On Your Journey Through Life ...
May many miles be filled with smiles
May your days be warm,
Your sunsets beautiful, and your dawns full of hope.
May you always have enough
And some left over to share.
May the travellers you meet along the way
Teach you something and learn from you,
May you always part from those who choose another
path, in peace and friendship.
May you never choose the easy way,
Nor the most difficult
But the one your heart leads you to.
Don’t stand too long looking back along the road,
Or forward,
But look around you,
Listen, feel, inhale every moment.
Don’t run!
There’s no hurry, no worry,
No destination,
But much to be enjoyed along the way.
Heaven on Earth
Do you know the way to Heaven?
Have you wondered
And wandered the paths that wind inwards
To the very centre of your existence?
Heaven is here …
All around you.
Within you.
Within your heart when truly loved and in love,
Within your mind when you know you did your best,
Within your soul when you watch a child blossom.
Heaven is a hug.
A smile. A gentle word.
A field of daisies.
A flock of geese heading home at dusk.
Fingers and mouths stained with blackberry juice.
Music which makes your feet dance
And your heart sing.
Mum’s Sunday dinner, a sunny afternoon walking the dog, dinner with an old friend, a lie-in with a lover…
Heaven is where you look for it.
Mistakes
If I’m wrong, I’m wrong!
And tomorrow, or the day after
I’ll say … Ok!
So I made a mistake
I was wrong
But I might’ve been right!
I might be right the next time
And that’s what really counts ...
Dreams Are Always Worth Chasing!
Where does rational thought end
and wishful thinking begin?
What distinguishes a dream from a fantasy
or a wish from a whim?
How far up in the sky
does the pie have to be?
And who says pigs can’t fly?
Rhyming couplets still evade me
I just can't think in rhyme.
Perhaps the poetry of poetry
Will come to me in time ...
So, here's a couple of poems full of doom and gloom, not at all like my usual attempts:
The Abyss
Beyond the turmoil of overwhelming emotion
A spirit, torn apart, unrecognisable,
Lies within the abyss ...
Which may, for a time, be comforting
A place of no worry, no sorrow and no pain
But is a dangerous place
Where nothing can thrive,
Nothing can live for long ...
Love, smiles, hugs
Cannot enter here,
Cannot dispel the darkness.
Outside the walls, enemies lie in seige
Alongside friends and allies ...
All are held at bay
All are excluded.
Together they hammer on the gates ...
Gates which can only be opened outwards.
Sleepless
In the absolute silence of the hour before dawn
When i've climbed the walls, endlessly paced the floors
And finally wept myself empty,
I lie twisting in the void.
Differing emotions vying for attention
Clamouring for acceptance ...
Optimism is now the stuff of abandoned fairy tales
Pessimism is a shrine
Doubt and doom and gloom the new reality.
Sadness surges along every nerve,
Loneliness scrapes the surface of my skin
Teasing the fine hairs to attention.
The ache within threatens to explode and engulf me,
When Hope enters the fray once more
With battered standard,
Never far from the battlefield, from the never-ending struggle ...
Yet sadly,
A mere fleeting angel
Against such staunch opposition ...
Goodness! I really was in a bad place ... I certainly wouldn't want to go back there again, although the truth is that was the easy part. When I was actually in that dark place, I didn't give a damn!
The hard bit, the bit I really wouldn't want to do again (though it's good to know I can), was the struggle back to health. It took almost a year of hard work.
Here's a few examples of the sort of poetry I write usually (though to be honest am more a prose writer than a poet, so you mightn't call it poetry!):
On Your Journey Through Life ...
May many miles be filled with smiles
May your days be warm,
Your sunsets beautiful, and your dawns full of hope.
May you always have enough
And some left over to share.
May the travellers you meet along the way
Teach you something and learn from you,
May you always part from those who choose another
path, in peace and friendship.
May you never choose the easy way,
Nor the most difficult
But the one your heart leads you to.
Don’t stand too long looking back along the road,
Or forward,
But look around you,
Listen, feel, inhale every moment.
Don’t run!
There’s no hurry, no worry,
No destination,
But much to be enjoyed along the way.
Heaven on Earth
Do you know the way to Heaven?
Have you wondered
And wandered the paths that wind inwards
To the very centre of your existence?
Heaven is here …
All around you.
Within you.
Within your heart when truly loved and in love,
Within your mind when you know you did your best,
Within your soul when you watch a child blossom.
Heaven is a hug.
A smile. A gentle word.
A field of daisies.
A flock of geese heading home at dusk.
Fingers and mouths stained with blackberry juice.
Music which makes your feet dance
And your heart sing.
Mum’s Sunday dinner, a sunny afternoon walking the dog, dinner with an old friend, a lie-in with a lover…
Heaven is where you look for it.
Mistakes
If I’m wrong, I’m wrong!
And tomorrow, or the day after
I’ll say … Ok!
So I made a mistake
I was wrong
But I might’ve been right!
I might be right the next time
And that’s what really counts ...
Dreams Are Always Worth Chasing!
Where does rational thought end
and wishful thinking begin?
What distinguishes a dream from a fantasy
or a wish from a whim?
How far up in the sky
does the pie have to be?
And who says pigs can’t fly?
Cheating Again (it's good for your mental health!)
OK, here's another one I wrote before ...
(Well, if it's alright for Blue Peter ...!)
It was written for new students at Hull University, Scarborough Campus. So wasn't intended for student parents, but I thought maybe some of it would be useful:
Ten Tips for Making the Most of Your Student Experience.
1. The Boring Stuff!
Quote:
Pay attention to the basics – food sleep and exercise are the basic fuels for physical and mental health.
Food: Eat breakfast! All nutritionists recommend starting the day with a healthy breakfast, especially important if you have a lecture first thing. (See The Eat Well Cookbook for inspirational ideas to kick-start your day/metabolism) Try to eat regular, balanced meals. Arm yourself with healthy snacks for a study session, and make sure you eat before you drink (alcohol).
Sleep: Make sure you get enough good quality sleep – nobody (no body) functions well on a lack of sleep, or feels good after a night of broken sleep. Treat yourself to a couple of early nights or lie-ins, as often as you can.
Exercise: Walk whenever, wherever you can! The perfect exercise, for any fitness level, it costs nothing (in fact, walking to university or town will save you money in bus fares) and has huge health benefits. Find a friend to share a long walk, once or twice a week or try power-walking during study breaks.
2. Take Care!
Quote:
Look after the important things in life – this includes keeping yourself, your belongings, and your personal details safe.
Things: Make sure your belongings are marked, and insured if necessary, and take sensible precautions to keep them safe from theft, loss or damage.
Information: Be wary of sharing personal details – protect yourself against identity theft. Consider how you dispose of financial paperwork. Opting out of junk mail is an easy step to take in protecting your details.
You: Get yourself insured if you think you need to (if you indulge in risky sports, for example) particularly if you have dependents. Always be aware of your personal safety - stick with friends when out late, never leave drinks unattended.
3. Be Safe!
Quote:
Practise safe sex. Always.
Enough said.
Except that, none of us is perfect, so take further precautions against pregnancy if you’re female. And, whichever gender you are, if you are in any doubt as to your sexual health, get yourself tested!
4. Work to Live!
Quote:
Being able to achieve and maintain a healthy work/life balance, is an essential life-skill well worth developing.
Income/Expenditure: Consider the income/expenditure payoff – could you save a little more and work a little less, could you be paid more for what you do, or do a different job? Remember, your time is an important resource – make sure you are getting the best value for it.
Budget: Plan a budget based on reliable income and your expenditure (bear in mind, when calculating this, that most people underestimate their spending) and stick to it as far as possible. Use any extra income for treats or to pay debts, or add to your savings, depending on your financial situation.
Credit/Debt/Savings: Avoid credit if at all possible – it’s an easy way to serious, expensive debt and a great deal of stress. Get help as soon as possible with debts you can’t handle. Try and save something – no matter how small the amount – on a regular basis, to avoid the need for credit, or the trouble of debt.
5. A Day in the Life of a Student!
Quote:
Studying will make up a large portion of your experience as a student!
Make it Effective: Avoid studying when tired, hungry, or stressed about another area of your life. Deal with distractions before a study session and keep sessions short and focussed.
Make it Interesting/Useful: Focus your research on the areas of greatest interest to yourself, and combine areas of research whenever possible.
Make it Fun: Find a ‘study buddy’ or start a study group. Read a book sitting outside in the sunshine. Camp out in your bed with a fresh fruit smoothie and edible treats, your favourite music and an aromatherapy candle.
6. Whatever Floats Your Boat!
Quote:
There are many opportunities to explore further interests, or aspects of student life – religious or spiritual beliefs, or political bents, or more general interests.
CV: Any groups or clubs you join will provide excellent evidence of people skills for your CV. If you set up, or are involved in the running of a club, you will also have evidence of organisational and management skills.
Social Circle: Share your interests with other like-minded people. Or try something new and widen your social circle to meet different kinds of people.
Volunteering: It’s true, volunteering is another useful CV exercise, but it is in fact so much more than that. Volunteering will provide you with a sense of fulfilment, of being useful, and of understanding the world (and yourself) a little better.
7. Go Far!
Quote:
Whether you are from Scarborough, or from the other side of the world, you will probably travel far and wide during your time as a student.
Academic: Depending on your degree subject, you might have to travel as part of your studies – field trips for example, or trips to other libraries or archives for research (make good use of the university’s inter-library loan system).
Home: If you’re not a local student, you will probably want to travel home at regular intervals (depending on how far you need to go). You will usually know when and where you will be travelling well in advance, take advantage of this to save money.
Away Days, High Days and Holidays: Avoid travelling on the very busiest days of the year – academic holidays allow you to travel earlier or later than most people at Christmas, for example. Take full advantage of being a student in obtaining discounts.
8. Have Fun!
Quote:
All of the above can be fun (should be fun!) but sometimes it’s good to have fun just for the sake of having fun.
Activities: Indulge in your favourite sports and take advantage of Scarborough’s location to try new things. The coast provides opportunities for all sorts of water-based activities (surfing, diving, sailing) and the surrounding countryside is perfect for activities including horse riding, pot-holing and camping.
Relaxation: Take your relaxation seriously! Recharging your physical, intellectual and emotional batteries on a regular basis is essential to ensuring you keep firing on all cylinders, so can make the best of your time at university.
Partying: Partying is part and parcel of the student experience … enjoy! Keep yourself safe, stay in groups and look out for each other when out and about. Keep an eye on your alcohol consumption and don’t let it impinge on the rest of your life.
9. Explore!
Quote:
We are blessed with stunning coastline on one side and gorgeous countryside on the other, both of which are drenched in history. Make the most of your time here as a student, whether you are a first-time visitor or have lived here all your life.
Tourist Attractions: Although only a small seaside town, Scarborough has some must-visit places (the castle, the sea life centre, museums …) which attract people from all over the country. Make sure you visit them while they are on your doorstep.
Day Trips: Travel just a little further afield and you will discover plenty of interesting places. Whitby, York and Robin Hood’s Bay are all great for a day away – easily accessible by bus or train, and full of things to see or do.
Local Resources: If you cook for yourself, take advantage of local produce – fruit, veg, fish. Visit the Tourist Information Office or the Local Library for further information.
10. Ask for Directions!
Quote:
We all need a little guidance, advice or support sometimes. Whatever help you need, the university has systems to provide it, or can advise you where to find it elsewhere.
Professional: Financial or legal advice, medical contacts, support with finding accommodation or dealing with disability, all are available at university.
Academic / Career Guidance: Lecturers will often be your first contact when you have a difficulty with studying, but take advantages of the services offered by others too. Make an appointment with the Study Skills Advice team for general help, or for help with dyslexia for example. The library staff are always pleased to help with enquiries and the staff in the IT Suite will help with technical queries. Call in to Career Guidance now and then, to keep yourself updated.
Emotional / Mental Health: There is a fantastic counselling service within university, a 24hour helpline, or a number of avenues outside university, if you’d prefer to keep the two separate. You are not alone and don’t have to deal with things by yourself. Everything you say will be confidential , and will have been heard before!
Well, I hope some of it is helpful, for someone!
Mental/emotional health (wellbeing) is something that really interests me, so I'll probably write some more about that at some point. Suffice to say for now, I have personal experience of difficulty in this area, having had a total physical and emotional breakdown at the end of my second year at university.
Nothing to do with university, in fact that's what kept me going for so long! But everywhere else I turned, I faced a problem, there were issues with my daughters, finances, an injury to my back, and a man I was dating. I lacked sleep and nourishment and ran myself into the ground, finally ending up on my knees, at just over seven stone in weight (feel healthiest at over nine), incapable of writing a shopping list, let alone an essay.
With a lot of help and support from a lot of people, I returned to university in September to take my second year exams, and then continued with the course, finally gaining a First Class Honours degree.
The blip in the middle was both the best and worst of times ... I learnt such a lot about myself. It was an opportunity to rebuild myself from a place that was nothing and nowhere, a personal abyss. (I'll try and find a poem I wrote about that at the time.) For years, I had blinkered myself, hadn't allowed myself to change, and as I went through the healing process, I realised things like: Hey! I actually like pink and fluffy! (Whereas I would have said before that I wasn't at all girlie.)
Perhaps the biggest thing I learnt was that being such a perfectionist is very unhealthy. I am much more gentle with myself now ... I still have high standards and expectations, but am happy to accept that my best is good enough, and that perfection is rare for a reason!
I also learnt a lot about stress management, how to recognise the signs of stress, and how to deal with stress before it has a detrimental effect. I don't believe we can avoid stress in today's society, but we can handle it in more positive ways.
Mental illness is still so taboo, which is crazy, considering one in three of us are suffering one form or another at any given time! So, I have always been open about my own experiences, in the hope that others will feel less alone, and less judgmental of themselves: I refused to accept I was ill, until my lovely doctor rephrased it: Dianne, You are mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted, please let me help you!
I did. And I gratefully accepted help from lots of people, most of whom had been there themselves. I also read some great books as I got better (at my worst I spent almost 24 hours asleep!) and will put a list up when I get a chance.
Oh! So many things to do ...
But no pressure, of course! :o)
(Well, if it's alright for Blue Peter ...!)
It was written for new students at Hull University, Scarborough Campus. So wasn't intended for student parents, but I thought maybe some of it would be useful:
Ten Tips for Making the Most of Your Student Experience.
1. The Boring Stuff!
Quote:
Pay attention to the basics – food sleep and exercise are the basic fuels for physical and mental health.
Food: Eat breakfast! All nutritionists recommend starting the day with a healthy breakfast, especially important if you have a lecture first thing. (See The Eat Well Cookbook for inspirational ideas to kick-start your day/metabolism) Try to eat regular, balanced meals. Arm yourself with healthy snacks for a study session, and make sure you eat before you drink (alcohol).
Sleep: Make sure you get enough good quality sleep – nobody (no body) functions well on a lack of sleep, or feels good after a night of broken sleep. Treat yourself to a couple of early nights or lie-ins, as often as you can.
Exercise: Walk whenever, wherever you can! The perfect exercise, for any fitness level, it costs nothing (in fact, walking to university or town will save you money in bus fares) and has huge health benefits. Find a friend to share a long walk, once or twice a week or try power-walking during study breaks.
2. Take Care!
Quote:
Look after the important things in life – this includes keeping yourself, your belongings, and your personal details safe.
Things: Make sure your belongings are marked, and insured if necessary, and take sensible precautions to keep them safe from theft, loss or damage.
Information: Be wary of sharing personal details – protect yourself against identity theft. Consider how you dispose of financial paperwork. Opting out of junk mail is an easy step to take in protecting your details.
You: Get yourself insured if you think you need to (if you indulge in risky sports, for example) particularly if you have dependents. Always be aware of your personal safety - stick with friends when out late, never leave drinks unattended.
3. Be Safe!
Quote:
Practise safe sex. Always.
Enough said.
Except that, none of us is perfect, so take further precautions against pregnancy if you’re female. And, whichever gender you are, if you are in any doubt as to your sexual health, get yourself tested!
4. Work to Live!
Quote:
Being able to achieve and maintain a healthy work/life balance, is an essential life-skill well worth developing.
Income/Expenditure: Consider the income/expenditure payoff – could you save a little more and work a little less, could you be paid more for what you do, or do a different job? Remember, your time is an important resource – make sure you are getting the best value for it.
Budget: Plan a budget based on reliable income and your expenditure (bear in mind, when calculating this, that most people underestimate their spending) and stick to it as far as possible. Use any extra income for treats or to pay debts, or add to your savings, depending on your financial situation.
Credit/Debt/Savings: Avoid credit if at all possible – it’s an easy way to serious, expensive debt and a great deal of stress. Get help as soon as possible with debts you can’t handle. Try and save something – no matter how small the amount – on a regular basis, to avoid the need for credit, or the trouble of debt.
5. A Day in the Life of a Student!
Quote:
Studying will make up a large portion of your experience as a student!
Make it Effective: Avoid studying when tired, hungry, or stressed about another area of your life. Deal with distractions before a study session and keep sessions short and focussed.
Make it Interesting/Useful: Focus your research on the areas of greatest interest to yourself, and combine areas of research whenever possible.
Make it Fun: Find a ‘study buddy’ or start a study group. Read a book sitting outside in the sunshine. Camp out in your bed with a fresh fruit smoothie and edible treats, your favourite music and an aromatherapy candle.
6. Whatever Floats Your Boat!
Quote:
There are many opportunities to explore further interests, or aspects of student life – religious or spiritual beliefs, or political bents, or more general interests.
CV: Any groups or clubs you join will provide excellent evidence of people skills for your CV. If you set up, or are involved in the running of a club, you will also have evidence of organisational and management skills.
Social Circle: Share your interests with other like-minded people. Or try something new and widen your social circle to meet different kinds of people.
Volunteering: It’s true, volunteering is another useful CV exercise, but it is in fact so much more than that. Volunteering will provide you with a sense of fulfilment, of being useful, and of understanding the world (and yourself) a little better.
7. Go Far!
Quote:
Whether you are from Scarborough, or from the other side of the world, you will probably travel far and wide during your time as a student.
Academic: Depending on your degree subject, you might have to travel as part of your studies – field trips for example, or trips to other libraries or archives for research (make good use of the university’s inter-library loan system).
Home: If you’re not a local student, you will probably want to travel home at regular intervals (depending on how far you need to go). You will usually know when and where you will be travelling well in advance, take advantage of this to save money.
Away Days, High Days and Holidays: Avoid travelling on the very busiest days of the year – academic holidays allow you to travel earlier or later than most people at Christmas, for example. Take full advantage of being a student in obtaining discounts.
8. Have Fun!
Quote:
All of the above can be fun (should be fun!) but sometimes it’s good to have fun just for the sake of having fun.
Activities: Indulge in your favourite sports and take advantage of Scarborough’s location to try new things. The coast provides opportunities for all sorts of water-based activities (surfing, diving, sailing) and the surrounding countryside is perfect for activities including horse riding, pot-holing and camping.
Relaxation: Take your relaxation seriously! Recharging your physical, intellectual and emotional batteries on a regular basis is essential to ensuring you keep firing on all cylinders, so can make the best of your time at university.
Partying: Partying is part and parcel of the student experience … enjoy! Keep yourself safe, stay in groups and look out for each other when out and about. Keep an eye on your alcohol consumption and don’t let it impinge on the rest of your life.
9. Explore!
Quote:
We are blessed with stunning coastline on one side and gorgeous countryside on the other, both of which are drenched in history. Make the most of your time here as a student, whether you are a first-time visitor or have lived here all your life.
Tourist Attractions: Although only a small seaside town, Scarborough has some must-visit places (the castle, the sea life centre, museums …) which attract people from all over the country. Make sure you visit them while they are on your doorstep.
Day Trips: Travel just a little further afield and you will discover plenty of interesting places. Whitby, York and Robin Hood’s Bay are all great for a day away – easily accessible by bus or train, and full of things to see or do.
Local Resources: If you cook for yourself, take advantage of local produce – fruit, veg, fish. Visit the Tourist Information Office or the Local Library for further information.
10. Ask for Directions!
Quote:
We all need a little guidance, advice or support sometimes. Whatever help you need, the university has systems to provide it, or can advise you where to find it elsewhere.
Professional: Financial or legal advice, medical contacts, support with finding accommodation or dealing with disability, all are available at university.
Academic / Career Guidance: Lecturers will often be your first contact when you have a difficulty with studying, but take advantages of the services offered by others too. Make an appointment with the Study Skills Advice team for general help, or for help with dyslexia for example. The library staff are always pleased to help with enquiries and the staff in the IT Suite will help with technical queries. Call in to Career Guidance now and then, to keep yourself updated.
Emotional / Mental Health: There is a fantastic counselling service within university, a 24hour helpline, or a number of avenues outside university, if you’d prefer to keep the two separate. You are not alone and don’t have to deal with things by yourself. Everything you say will be confidential , and will have been heard before!
Well, I hope some of it is helpful, for someone!
Mental/emotional health (wellbeing) is something that really interests me, so I'll probably write some more about that at some point. Suffice to say for now, I have personal experience of difficulty in this area, having had a total physical and emotional breakdown at the end of my second year at university.
Nothing to do with university, in fact that's what kept me going for so long! But everywhere else I turned, I faced a problem, there were issues with my daughters, finances, an injury to my back, and a man I was dating. I lacked sleep and nourishment and ran myself into the ground, finally ending up on my knees, at just over seven stone in weight (feel healthiest at over nine), incapable of writing a shopping list, let alone an essay.
With a lot of help and support from a lot of people, I returned to university in September to take my second year exams, and then continued with the course, finally gaining a First Class Honours degree.
The blip in the middle was both the best and worst of times ... I learnt such a lot about myself. It was an opportunity to rebuild myself from a place that was nothing and nowhere, a personal abyss. (I'll try and find a poem I wrote about that at the time.) For years, I had blinkered myself, hadn't allowed myself to change, and as I went through the healing process, I realised things like: Hey! I actually like pink and fluffy! (Whereas I would have said before that I wasn't at all girlie.)
Perhaps the biggest thing I learnt was that being such a perfectionist is very unhealthy. I am much more gentle with myself now ... I still have high standards and expectations, but am happy to accept that my best is good enough, and that perfection is rare for a reason!
I also learnt a lot about stress management, how to recognise the signs of stress, and how to deal with stress before it has a detrimental effect. I don't believe we can avoid stress in today's society, but we can handle it in more positive ways.
Mental illness is still so taboo, which is crazy, considering one in three of us are suffering one form or another at any given time! So, I have always been open about my own experiences, in the hope that others will feel less alone, and less judgmental of themselves: I refused to accept I was ill, until my lovely doctor rephrased it: Dianne, You are mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted, please let me help you!
I did. And I gratefully accepted help from lots of people, most of whom had been there themselves. I also read some great books as I got better (at my worst I spent almost 24 hours asleep!) and will put a list up when I get a chance.
Oh! So many things to do ...
But no pressure, of course! :o)
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